Good morning my darlings.
So I’ve been thinkthinkthinking about our direction, mine and yours, and our path together, and then a beautiful idea came to me.
A sharing of our paths.
Joining, intertwining, walking side-by-side, hand-in-hand. I share with you and I cherish those moments, but what lights me up, what really makes it all worth it, are the moments when you share with me too.
Today I create this sacred space, where you can share with me. Share with me what you are working on, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Share with me the things that you are in love with. Share with me the things you’re figuring out, wishing for, and hope to be. I would love that.
Gentle sharing, with no judgement. Just lots of hugs and hand holding.
I also want to share more personal thoughts with you here, each Friday. I’m not perfect, I know this, and I’m sure you know this too, but I want you to witness those things, my wisdom and my flaws. My thoughts and imperfections. I don’t want to just reflect on lessons of the past, but wisdom I am learning at this moment.
Right now I feel this urge to get to a point I’m not ready to be at. I want to get from Point A, which is realization, to Point C which is the final goal, and bypass point B – doing all of the work. Sometimes it’s like a spiral and you get to Point C only to realize you have to start all over. I guess life is like that.
There’s someone at my job that I really dislike. Everything about them bothers me and I find myself getting annoyed when one of my friends wants to spend time with this person. I’m trying to dig into the intricacies of why, so that I can deal with those feelings. There’s something I read, that when you see traits in others that you dislike it is a reflection of what you dislike about yourself. Maybe there are hints of truth to that.
I think in the quiet, still, dark, corners inside of me I fear being replaced. Which calls my own feelings of self-worth into question. I should never fear that, because I am “me” and me is amazing and irreplaceable… so if that’s not it… then I must not have trust in my relationships… Which brings more questions…
Explore all options and you’ll find a moment of clarity, an answer, at some point. :)
I was reading this post this morning and I especially loved this one part. It gave me that little twitch inside that said “Think on this more.”
The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene.
I don’t know if I believe attachment and love cannot coexist and I don’t think I can ever come from a place of pure detachment (can any of us?). I can blame it on my fiery, passionate, all-in, Leo nature, or I can just acknowledge that I know myself well enough to know how impossible that feels to me.
Loosening my grasp, letting go some, feeling things shift and widen, maybe that I can do.
I am in love with this song called Yet by Switchfoot. It’s funny because it strangely enough makes me think of Blessing Manifesting and the passion that I have for the work that I do. “If it doesn’t break your heart it isn’t love. If it doesn’t break your heart it’s not enough. It’s when you’re breaking down with your insides coming out, that’s when you find out what your heart is made of.” It makes me think about how I feel when I pour out words here. So many times I have sat here with tears falling as a type, that’s just how I am. So many times I’ve read my work months later and be moved to tears because those words came out of me and are mine. It breaks my heart sometimes, but in a good way, that I have done what I do and I have been what I am.
Today I ask you to walk with me for a little bit, to tell me about what’s on your mind and in your heart.
If you want to walk with me in silence, that’s okay too. I know you are here with me, and I am there with you too. A word, a sentence, your life story, it’s all okay, and it is all welcomed here, you can also post completely anonymously in the comments.
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Right now I don't know what to do. My boyfriend isn't very touchy-feely, we've been together for years now and it's never really bothered me. Lately we haven't been having sex very frequently so I find myself wanting to supplement with physical affection, hand-holding, snuggling, cuddling, but that's not the kind of person he is and it just leaves me feeling very lonely. I'm sure that this too shall pass, I guess right now it would just be nice to have a hug!
Hugs, hugs, and hugs to you.
Thank you so much for sitting with me in these feelings. I am the same way in my protection of the people I love. If someone hurts or betrays someone I love I have trouble brushing it aside. I really stand up for the people I love and I know not everyone is like that. It does hurt when those people don't stand up for you in the same way. I know how that feels. I'm learning we all have to fight our own battles, even if it would be nice to have allies. :)
Thank you for sharing with me. I love you Lindsay and I am so happy to know you, to experience with you, and to be able to know there's someone out there that is learning and figuring things out just like me.
I hate judgemental shitty people which turns me into a judgemental shitty person :) Just sayin… my worries are usually unfounded and people that bring out the worst in me, I usually feel judged by or honestly found something lacking in their character for them to make to my inner circle. One thing I do for people when I am all bunched up about them is to allow them to be human and wonder who did this to them :)
About a year ago, an advocate giving a training with 50 people answered one of my questions about public speaking with "maybe you are not done healing and are not ready" Umm WHAT ?!?!?!? Did she really just say that crap in front of 50 people ?!?!??! Yes she did ! She did it again the following month in smaller training and another person taking the class sided with the power in the room ( the facilitator ). I was furious !!!!! 1st rule….. always let a victim have a voice it is what turns them into thriving survivors <3 Outraged and I did not take it sitting down, all was handled very nicely since we are all advocates.. but it turns out she was not ready to own her domestic violence and me speaking up freaked her out. It was not about me, but about her. I can forgive that, even if I still roll my eyes when I see her coming lol.. heyyyy…. I ain't perfect !
Long story short.. I stood up for myself. I was already a public speaker and still am. I said she would one day be opening doors for me and ROFLMAO she is introducing me next month <3
I guess my best advice is to believe in yourself, forgive others but keep your safety 1st, and live life exactly as you see fit <3 YOU ARE AN AMAZING SOUL and some people are not going to be able to hang…. let them go with love :)
I'm overwhelmed. Too much work (workplace) to many activities, aims,plans for spiritual and creative growth. Life is short, free time scarce, responsibilities are many. People who count on me, financially, emotionally. But I'm just me and mostly alone.
Sweet sweet sister,
I know perfectly how you feel. I had the same problem this week… someone I dislike, people hanging out with this person… the fear of being replaced, or not being good enough… or even worse: the fear my friends like the other person more than me – which I can not understand because this person have some serious (mental) problems, is trying to hurt me all the time, stalking… and nobody says anything about it. A lot of times I think: how can they like someone who's acting like that – trying to bully other people all the time? But then I realize: it's not their problem, that's why they don't mind. And this hurts. Everything seems like an ego game. Other people don't mind because they are not the ones who are hurt. Until it happens to them… than suddenly life is not fair. I would rather think that this way of thinking is not fair…
I always want to protect people against any harm. So they would be safe, know that they would be loved… I can't understand why many people don't think and act the same but just follow everything which can complete their confidence. How much I try to understand… I just can't understand why my way of thinking (and being unconditional towards others) is so different from others around me.
Love vs attachment. I almost can't talk about this one. I felt so much deep love towards someone and suddenly there is more space between us. I have to let go of any attachments… like I would give enough space to a flower to grow. It's difficult. Yet I believe it is possible, but on the other hand.. I have such a long way to go. My inner demons scream: "noo no, stop it! Don't let go, grap it, pleaaase! Don't!" And the more I try, the more they scream… and then I try to relax and tell myself: "Calm down Lin, this is a normal progress, allow them to appear and scream as much as they want but don't identify yourself with it – soon or later, they will go back to sleep." Trying… and trying…
When I read your blog, I know I'm not the only one. I'm not alone. You are not alone. Sometimes I believe we could be twins, experiencing the same situations at the same time. You're like a mirror to me sometimes. And yet, we have our differences… I learn from what you write. A lot.
You are so beautiful Dominee,
Never forget that. :)
And thank you for sharing this post with us.
I identify with what you are saying! *hug* I send you my love, Dear One.
My angels were sending sign after sign that I needed to prioritize, to retreat back to nature, and to find peace in daily life. I wasn't able to understand and finally start saying 'no' some responsibilities until I had a complete breakdown.
I have sooo many plans for spiritual growth, and felt so much pressure from my ego to get it done, and prove myself, achieve my life purpose goals! Now I am breaking things down and focusing on growing in relaxation, so that I can absorb more and rest to keep in touch with my inner self. Well, at least I am doing better than before……hah. I put off yoga teacher certification/training another year so I can focus on reiki. I decided to scale back on PTA involvement at my kids' school. I asked a loved one to contribute more to our relationship, and added an accountability component.
Once I did that, I began to notice guidance to be more involved with my own children. I am now getting guidance to be open to fostering other children. I wouldn't have been receptive to that guidance if I hadn't taken a step back from my plans, and made a space for God to breath life into me. I am still planning, but I have peace in the process. I have been through this cycle before, a great cycle of learning, and relearning, those great soulful lessons.
I am with you, and I love you, as you go through your own cycle of soulful lessons, wherever you may be in that great circle. You are here being you, and that is enough.
I am here. I am me, and that is enough. When I make space for God, all is well. My situation now is that I have been guided to my twin flame, and since we are both not spiritually evolved enough, we cannot be together yet. We are both with other loving people, and we are supposed to grow through these soulmate relationships. However, I am still around him daily, and you know if twin flames are very close, it seems to bring up ALL of the ego issues both are working on, and it has been difficult. Very difficult. We are both drawn to one another anytime we are both in the same room together. We are very aware of where the other person is in the room, to the point where I can feel where he is, and feel his eyes on me when he glances at me. When we are doing something together in concert, my heart soars and suddenly I feel as if I can do anything. We are constantly bumping into each other, the synchronicity is constant. I am finding out how to make a space for God while my ego is screaming in my ear all the self-love and self-doubt issues that I have hidden deep within me. I have been very nervous and timid around him, and I believe that it is because deep down, I am afraid to love myself fully. Fully. It would mean opening up and embracing my destiny. I love myself. I need to learn to love all parts of me, at all times, and to accept that which does not serve me but is still present.
You are such an amazing inspiration. Your journey of just shear and utter kick ass strength makes me feel so happy and blessed to know you. You are one of those shining stars of radiance. I am so happy that you've found your voice and continue to stand up for yourself and encourage others to do the same.
One of the many reasons you are amazing.
Never alone darling.
I know it's hard when you have all of these things that you want to be and do. You'll get there and it'll be okay. Just take time whenever you have a moment to take a deep breath. Ask someone to help with work if you can. Take care of you!
Beautiful Sellica, truly heart warming. Thank you for giving your love to this space.
So beautiful, and I am glad that you are so blessed to find what you have found. To find someone that awakens awareness within us, what we need to do, what we need to work on, that is a gift, even when it's hard and painful work, it is something that needs to be done so that you can shine even brighter.
*hugs* – I hear you and respect you for the way you're examining your own feelings and working through them, Dominee – you're a wonderful inspiration.
Today I'm acknowledging that Dad is getting sicker – his cancer is progressing, he's in more pain more often, and the pain meds are starting to affect his thinking. Yesterday I had all KINDS of exciting biz-related stuff planned to achieve… but it was really the first day in a couple of weeks that I've had where I actually had the mental & emotional space to acknowledge and start to process what's happening with Dad… so yeah – not a lot else ended up getting done, and I'm mostly OK with that.
I think today I'm reminding myself that it's OK not to be superwoman. I have things I want to get done, but it's OK if they're not crossed off my list by the end of the day as well :-)
I'm not doing too great just now. I had a stalker at work even after they had transferred to another site. I thought it was finally over a few weeks ago but this week they came back to the site I work at and as my boss. Its also the anniversary of my mum's passing in a few days and even tho its been 14 years, I still miss her so much. I just feel so alone
I've been with my current girlfriend for 2 years. Recently I've been having feelings towards men and want to explore this side of myself. I don't want to hurt my girlfriend. She is so loving and trusting of me and is in our relationship for the long haul. We also live together and she is supporting me as I establish my own business. I won't be able to afford my mortgage if we break up.
I've been connecting with men online, and even though I haven't met any in person, I know this is effecting our relationship. I'm becoming more withdrawn and less affectionate. She doesn't deserve this. I love her and don't want to ruin what we have, but I can't ignore these feelings i'm having. She's very monogamous and not at all interested in men.
I feel lost and alone. And very confused.
What a beautiful dream. I hope that it manifests for you, it is a big undertaking. When your heart calls you to a dream, it is right, and beautiful, and meant to be!
*hugs* I'm sorry about your dad and I wish you comfort on the journey you are having to take. Take the time you need for yourself and never feel bad about, it is totally okay not to be super woman. You're still super ;)
I am so sorry Melanie. I wish there was something that I could say or do to make you feel safe and secure. Great big hugs to you.
I'm sorry that you are having to deal with these experiences without having the space to explore how you are feeling. I'm bisexual so I understand the pull to explore both sides of your attractions. Hugs hugs hugs. You aren't alone sweetie.
I'm building a new space – a space for womyn to be in sacred and supportive community with each other and if I allow myself to actually acknowledge the breadth of this dream it scares the freaking crap out of me! Makes me want to turn tail and run the other way!
But it is my sacred heart calling and I will carry on – Trusting as best as I'm able that I am being called to this for a reason.
As for the co-worker, oh darling I so feel ya on the challenges of dealing with people who rub us the wrong way! Not fun stuff — but I think you're right and this person is holding up a mirror to something it is time for you to witness and release in yourself —> this the the part B work most of us wish we could skip.
Dig into it darling – we've got your back!
What a great idea, thanks for offering us this space and your nonjudgmental and generous support Dominee. Me, well I'm in the process of trying to make my life bigger, and like Kate it scares the hell out of me. I want to make a huge difference but at the same time I want to crawl into my shell and never have anything change. One day and one step at a time…
One day, one step, one moment. When you decide to change the world and make a difference of course it's scary, that just means that your heart is really in it, and that makes it such a beautiful thing. The things that scare you are the things you should be doing!
Beautiful Sellica, truly heart warming. Thank you for giving your love to this space.