One of the things that I am really proud of is my ability to put it all out there.
Unapologetically. (Mostly) Fearlessly. And Honestly.
It’s one of the things that I love about myself and that others love and admire about me as well. Want to know a secret?
I’m a rather private person.
I know you’re thinking “But Dominee, you share stuff all the time.” It’s true here, this is my safe space, with my heart-tribe, where my reservations jump out of the window. In my day-to-day life I am not used to sharing, I’m not used to being an open book, and actually talking about myself and my experiences and my secrets? It’s nearly unheard of.
So how do I do it? It’s hard sometimes. The things I share are sometimes my deepest darkest shames and secrets or my wildest dreams. It’s hard to put that out there, especially on the internet where anyone can see it. It’s scary and makes me feel fragile and vulnerable but do you want to know what else it makes me feel?
Liberated, free, inspiring.
Everytime I’m about to hit that ‘publish’ button and I get that semi-queasy feeling I remember why I do it and how good it feels when I do.
Am I afraid that everyone thinks what I do sucks? That I’m being silly and pointless? That nothing that I do makes a difference? That I’m just wasting my time? That everyone else is so much better and I am just-not-good-enough? Yeah, sometimes I do but I show up anyway. I push past those fears, I put them in a time-out corner and I go about my business.
How do you put yourself out there in a way that feels good?
Find the right tribe.
This just isn’t from a business perspective. This is big life stuff. Tell your truths and your stories to the right people. Back when I was in the depths of depression I was needy and desperate for a friend. I latched on to the first person that I could, told them my entire life story, and then wondered why my story wasn’t honored. Things got told to other people, or misconstrued, I got made fun of, I got belittled and I didn’t understand why.
I wasn’t trusting the right people.
This also translates to the blog. I think that I attract a certain kind of person. Compassionate, lovely, souls who aren’t quick to pass judgement and who listen with empathy and thoughtfulness In the almost two years since I’ve started this blog I don’t believe that I’ve ever had a mean spirited or belittling comment (Hopefully I didn’t just jinx myself!).
Know what kind of people you want to attract both in your life and in your business!
Change up the what-ifs.
You’re afraid of putting yourself out there. What if they don’t get you? What if you aren’t taken seriously? What if you are a colossal failure of epic proportions? What if… what if… what if…
What if what you want to say will touch someone? What if it will make someone feel less alone? What if it will inspire change in someone? What if you will be wholly and fully accepted? What if the burden will be lifted?
There’s always the chance that you won’t be well-received, that someone just won’t get it, but there’s also the chance that great things will happen.
If you feel afraid about putting yourself out there ask yourself why. What are you most of afraid of? Is that a valid fear? Also ask yourself why you want to share something. Are you seeking validation or approval? (we all do sometimes and that’s okay) Are you wanting to unburden yourself? Are you wanting to share for some greater purpose?
Once you are firm on your purpose it’s easier to let it out into the world.
Be aware and be honest.
Trust your intuition and just do it.
Tell someone that you love them. Reconnect with someone you miss. Write that thing that you’ve been wanting to write. Say that thing you’ve been needing to say.
Do something that you know deep down in your bones that you are meant to do.
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a great post and totally agree with you I am the same I find it easier to put it out there on the internet can't see those faces doing the "I have no idea what your talking about" look ..lol… also you are speaking to an audience and can't get in as much trouble by the one person thinking your talking about them. Bravo to you keep it up you are inspiring the masses :)
I have found such a beautiful, safe space in the internet – which may sound weird to some, as it is often called anonymous and dangerous, but I've never found that. I think my frequency attracts souls who vibrate at a similar frequency, online or off.
More and more, that frequency also leads me to people of a similar mindset in "real" life. I rehearsed who I really am on the internet and it shines through more and more so that I start attracting the matching frequencies around my offline space. It's a beautiful process :-)
I love this! I find the internet much easier – I'm actually going to a training this summer for Peace Leadership that teaches public speaking, so I will be 'putting myself out there' and facing one of my biggest fears!
I love the message you are sharing here, and the last line 'be brave' sums it up so simply. It can be really hard to put ourselves out there, and your blog reminds me what to focus on. As a relitivly new blogger I am still finding my feet, hopefully in a couple of years I will be as confident as you!
Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful blog post!! Just what l needed to hear, thank-you!!!
This is where I am in my life ATM. Must be brave :)
Thank you for this post Dominee! It took me a while to understand that this is the truth, and then it took me another while to really act on it (despite the fears). I love the way our courage grows with every little step we take out into the big wide world. Every time we dare to put ourselves out there we grow a bit of confidence and might go a step further the next time. xx
thank you for this vivid, empowering and useful post!
I'm like you in that I can bare my soul through my blog and writing, but am very private in person. I love writing about the scary things, the raw things, the dark parts that don't get light shined on them, and what I've found is that people respond even more when I share these stories. I think people get tired of always reading about the best parts. Sometimes it's just nice to hear the truth.