We all have our shit to work on.
Doesn’t mean we’re any less for it. I’ve talked a bit about how I used to have pretty terrible anger issues in the past. It took a lot of work but I made a lot of progress over a year and a half. Then I got bell’s palsy, got put on steroids, and had my period all at once. The work unraveled, the rages came back and I felt like the Hulk’s little sister.
Since then, I hate to say it, but a lot of the anger issues have resurfaced. I find myself getting super angry at little things and being unreasonable with my emotions. Which creates more anger because I get angry that I’m angry.
So I am doing the work.
At first, I just figured that I’d fall back into my old patterns of dealing with my feelings in a positive manner. Just give it some time and I’d bounce back because after all, I’d done all of that work and surely it couldn’t have all unraveled within a really bad month. However, it seems as if it has. So I’m re-learning something important.
I control my emotions, I do not let them control me.
They’re like wild horses. I finally got control of them, lovingly put them in nice little stables, got to know them and we lived happily together until a storm came by, blew it all away, the horses got loose and now that they’ve got free rein, they don’t want to come back. Little do they know, I’m not good at giving up.
I’ve been doing a lot of work on dialectical thinking.
Dialectical thinking allows two conflicting ideas to be true at the same time. For example, when I disagree with someone it doesn’t mean I am right and they are wrong. I am right and they are right.
It’s really allowing me to open up and see the other side of the situation as well as stop myself from all or nothing thinking, which is something that I’ve always struggled with, I’m a bit of an extremist in my emotions!
I’ve also been incorporating yoga, meditation, mindfulness, self-soothing and self-care into my practice. There are many paths to wholeness and I love figuring them out, trying new things and discovering what works for me.