I was so happy yesterday when my lovely early birthday gift to myself Oracle of the Mermaids showed up. It had perfect timing and kicked me out of one of those down-in-the-dumps bad moods.
Right after I’d excitedly opened it up and looked at all of the cards, I held the cards to my heart and asked for them to guide me. I chose Vulnerability.
Open your heart, allow yourself to be tender.
Alright Universe, I hear ya. I have been rejecting vulnerability, I know this, and the card was a gentle reminder that it doesn’t have to be that way. I have been concentrating on being “strong” and holding myself together that I don’t even know the last time I had a good healing cry.
I’ve been ignoring my vulnerability.
Sometimes it’s easier to close off your heart, to spend your time being busy and working, so much so that you don’t have the time to feel vulnerable. I’ve been telling myself that I’ll be vulnerable later, I have too much stuff to do now. I’ve rationalized that being vulnerable is moping and ain’t nobody got time for that.
I do everything myself. My business is 100% Dominee-run. I live by myself, I make my own meals, do my own laundry, clean the house. Often, I get caught up in emotionally supporting others and I forget that sometimes I need support too. I get so tired of only relying on me. It would be so nice to have someone take care of me for a change and yet I block out that vulnerability, ignore those feelings, stuff them down, and then go about life.
This is what the mermaids say.
There is an enormous desire to avoid pain, to avoid anything that leads to emotional distress… and yet, the very thing that allows such a thing to happen is one of your greatest powers. Your vulnerability is beautiful and others are drawn to it and yet so often you feel foolish and embarrassed for being vulnerable and you do your best to hide that tenderness.
You feel like you will be abused or taken advantage of if you are open and willing to trust but to trust and to love are some of the most appealing and beautiful human qualities.
Holy wow that’s so right on the money. This week I am taking that lesson to heart, opening my heart, and allowing it to be tender when it needs to be. Maybe creating a stronger support system around myself wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Dominee, this text and what the card said..it so spot on it is almost scary. Thank you yet again for putting into words what I feel/struggle with. I am alone with my two kids, and everything I do I do it alone (and for my kids). The need for someone else, someone to take care of me is sometimes overwhelming. Then I shut it out and tells everyone I am OK, I am fine, all is fine. I am scared to tell people I am not on top of everything, to show them I am exhausted or need something. Working on my honesty and showing my vulnerability, 'cause hiding it (as I am doing most of the time) is not doing me any good, rather the opposite. So yeah, thanks yet again! What you do is awesome, mate! And it means so much to so many!
Wow & double wow! Incredibly valuable advice for this gal right now! Thank you ever so much for this. It hits home more than I can say! I will do my best to allow myself to be vulnerable… As much as is healthy, that is :)
So beautiful! Both the text and the card. Thank you! :)
Hey Dominee! Love the post, AND the oracle cards. (I have these as
well and use them all the time.) Like you, I'm single and I'm so used to
being independent and doing everything myself (also somewhat of a
necessity considering the single part), I actually cringe at the idea of
even having to ask anyone for help at this point. I despise being in a
position of vulnerability; I actually rarely cry even, its just never
been something I could do.
As you said, I think I
need more of a support system around myself. I don't feel like I can
trust my family to go to them about this stuff (long story), and I don't
have a lot of friends who live here locally anymore. Also, I've
realized recently that I never go out; I basically work and come home.
How sad is that?!
Anyway, all this to say that I know
where you're coming from & I'm the same way. Love your blog; it's
always so spot on for what I need in that moment :)
There are two sides to it, I'm guilty of being overly vulnerable at times and then I completely close off, it's so important to find a balance.
Big hugs! I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling/struggling with it. It's hard! Thanks for your sweet words and I wish you luck on your journey!
You're welcome! <3
I think these cards are going to be my new favorite, they seem so spot on.
I know what you mean about the self reliance of singledom, sometimes I just don't wanna do laundry or make food, but the alternatives are hunger and smelly clothes, so ya kinda just have to!
I am the same way with my support system. I don't speak to a lot of my family and a lot of my good friends live all over the world and I miss that person-to-person connectedness but I'm working on it!
Thanks for the support and I hope you find what you need!