Happy Self Love Sunday! What are you doing today to give yourself some lovins? Me? I’m sitting here with windows open, enjoying the cold Autumn air. HEAVEN.
All the time, people ask me how I am so happy, how do I stay positive, and why am I so damn cheerful?
The easy answer is: I choose to be happy.
And it’s not always easy. I’m constantly followed around by depression and anxiety and while they are very much part of my life I refuse to let them be part of my personality. I know it’s not easy to be happy, there are days when it’s the farthest thing from my mind but I choose over and over again to try to be happy. I practice self-care on a daily basis and I do my best to make choices that are aligned with loving myself. That includes seeking help and resources when my depression or anxiety starts getting unbearable.
And still, it’s hard.
There’s nothing spectacular about my life (except that it’s all mine and I love it) and if you really looked at it, there’d be tons of reasons for me not to be happy. I mean, I work at Walmart and I’m a spinster-crazy-cat-lady-without-cats. I could go on about all of the things that are wrong, all of the people that have hurt me, or been mean to me, and I could unpack all of my baggage right now, but the thing is, the bad stuff, it’s there, but it’s not worth ignoring the good stuff. My fab friends, my online pals, my soul-work, the Autumn wind blowing fresh air into my cozy, lil’, apartment. There are so many things to be happy about that the not-so-happy stuff is just a few drops in the bucket of a good life.
So here are 5 ways to be happy!
Roll with the punches or punch back.
Some things you just have to roll with. On any given day, there’s a 50/50 basic chance that things are going to go your way. You have plans with a friend and they cancel on you last minute, instead of being annoyed or angry about it, think of what things that glitch in your plans is giving you the opportunity to do. Learn to adapt. Let things roll off your back and go with the flow. If that isn’t working then stand up for yourself and make change happen. You always have two options, take it or leave it.
I’m a big fan of looking for opportunities in the disappointments in life. Most of the time I believe there’s a bigger purpose for it.
Stop worrying about other people.
I can not stress this one enough. It’s basic human human-ness to let other people affect us but we can dial it down, if not turn it off. We can choose not to play with the drama-llamas. We can choose not to participate in their drama. (You really can!) I see so many passive-aggressive posts on Facebook about so-and-so and karma, karma this and karma that. Let it go. Don’t even bother yourself enough to perpetuate the negatives and post negative things, karma will do its thang without your Facebook post pointing it in the right direction, I promise.
Staying away from crazy-makers is one of the #1 rules to happiness.
Do a social media clean-up where you “hide” or “unfollow” those people, pages, or groups that don’t bring you happiness.
I know, I know, that’s impossible. Complaining about stuff is actually pretty healthy and good for us, it really is. A good venting session can lead us to figuring out what the ‘eff we’re going to do about something, as well as give us the ability to get perspective from someone else. I call this constructive bitching *nods*.
What you don’t want to do is complain about everything just because you can, that the happiness does not make! If you aren’t willing to change it, don’t constantly complain about it because it won’t do you any good. Embrace the positive!
I try really hard to see the bright side, stuck in slow traffic? Time for really loud music. Something not happening as quickly as you want it to? It’s an opportunity to explore other options. We can choose to complain or we can choose to move onto something else.
Make yourself a priority.
I talk all of the time about how self-love can improve your life. This is a proven fact, I’ve had so many women tell me how making real time for themselves has helped improve their feelings about themselves as well as how they relate to their spouses and children.
When you do things for yourself you make so much more happy space in your life. It’s a great buffer against the bad.
While it might seem basic, practicing gratitude has many benefits backed up by science. According to Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania, people who practiced gratitude recorded high happiness scores. Other studies have also revealed that it’s vital for managing anxiety and depression. Fortunately, you can practice gratitude in so many ways. For instance, you can admire the beauty that nature offers and show appreciation for it. You may also extend a helping hand to others in need and create a gratitude journal. Additionally, you can create a visual mood board to document the good things you experience throughout the day.
Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t. It’s very rare to find someone that is perfectly happy and content with their life, there’s always something that we want, that we’re reaching for, that will make life better. Be grateful for what’s in your life right now. At one time in the past, what you have now is what you used to reach for. Appreciate it! Be especially grateful for the people in your life that lift you up. Remember that the Universe owes you nothing so be grateful for the gifts that come your way.