Before we start talking about healing, I want to ask you – how are you doing with your word-of-the-year so far? I know we’re not officially halfway through the year, there’s still a bit to go, but I wanted to ask you how is it going for you so far?
How is your Word manifesting itself in your life right now? How are you doing? I mean really doing? I feel like there’s some struggle going on right now and I know I’m not alone.
That’s why I love social media. I’m a bit quiet when it comes to my personal life, but I am so appreciative and in awe of the people that do share the life-hurts and bumps and bruises. I have that instant of connection when I’m scrolling where I go
“Me too. I’m hurting too.”
And I try to leave a comment or a “heart” because in that moment I feel a connection through the bond of owie-ness, even when it’s someone that I’ve only had passing conversation with. I feel like I get it and I get them and the world becomes a whole lot less scary because if they’re okay, then maybe I’ll be okay too.
That’s why social media is so important to an introvert like me.
So if you are one of those people that share your struggle, I thank you. I remember what my life was like before social media. I had a lot more free time, but I also felt very alone. I’ve never been one to talk openly about my pain. I know, I know, I have a blog and over the years I’ve shared a lot but it’s still a hang-up I have in my real life. I’m the friend that you go to when you need someone to listen – and I love that.
It has deepened my sense of compassion and my empathy. My ability to listen is my super-power but, at times, it can also be isolating because you own the role of Listener so deeply that it’s hard to be the Talker. To Take. To speak your truth.
Sometimes it’s really hard to talk. So I have trouble feeling like I can. Social media has really changed that for me. Last year I was going through a hard time and instead of handling it on my own I reached out and it was good. It felt really good to be vulnerable.
So I thank those of you that are vulnerable.
That’s your superpower. You make me feel not alone. You make others feel not alone. You foster this cosmic sense of connection and while you may not feel the ripple, it’s there.
I’m rambling. Getting a bit off topic, but it all ties together.
My word-of-the-year is Mend.
I feel like I have been failing myself. I’ve been letting my levels of stress spiral out of my control. It seems like just when I get a handle on a situation there’s another fire to put out. My heart is really big, ya know? And I have a hard time giving up on people and that causes a lot of strife for me. I want to save people from themselves and I can’t and it’s a lot a bit heartbreaking.
You’ve heard about the oxygen mask, right? When you’re on a plane and the flight attendant tells you to put on your oxygen mask your first instinct is to make sure that your loved ones do it first. You take care of them. Look after them. THEY NEED YOU. But if you don’t put on your mask first, if you don’t take care of yourself, you’re going to fall unconscious and then you’ll be no help to anyone.
The last year of my life has been a classic case of giving the oxygen mask to other people while I gasp for air. I know better. I learned better a loooooong time ago.
But I still fall into it sometimes. Even when I know better.
Ah, to be human and to feel things so deeply. I keep telling myself to get it together. Do better. Make myself a priority and focus on my own healing. Still, I’m struggling with it.
Healing is important. For each of us. In our own way.
Do good. Make a difference. Focus on healing. I’m going to curl up with my blankets, lavender rubbed on my chest, my prayer beads hanging around my neck and incense thickening the air and I’m going to breathe and focus on being okay.