I was so happy yesterday when my lovely early birthday gift to myself Oracle of the Mermaids showed up. It had perfect timing and kicked me out of one of those down-in-the-dumps bad moods.
Right after I’d excitedly opened it up and looked at all of the cards, I held the cards to my heart and asked for them to guide me. I chose Vulnerability.
Open your heart, allow yourself to be tender.
Alright Universe, I hear ya. I have been rejecting vulnerability, I know this, and the card was a gentle reminder that it doesn’t have to be that way. I have been concentrating on being “strong” and holding myself together that I don’t even know the last time I had a good healing cry.
I’ve been ignoring my vulnerability.
Sometimes it’s easier to close off your heart, to spend your time being busy and working, so much so that you don’t have the time to feel vulnerable. I’ve been telling myself that I’ll be vulnerable later, I have too much stuff to do now. I’ve rationalized that being vulnerable is moping and ain’t nobody got time for that.
I do everything myself. My business is 100% Dominee-run. I live by myself, I make my own meals, do my own laundry, clean the house. Often, I get caught up in emotionally supporting others and I forget that sometimes I need support too. I get so tired of only relying on me. It would be so nice to have someone take care of me for a change and yet I block out that vulnerability, ignore those feelings, stuff them down, and then go about life.
This is what the mermaids say.
There is an enormous desire to avoid pain, to avoid anything that leads to emotional distress… and yet, the very thing that allows such a thing to happen is one of your greatest powers. Your vulnerability is beautiful and others are drawn to it and yet so often you feel foolish and embarrassed for being vulnerable and you do your best to hide that tenderness.
You feel like you will be abused or taken advantage of if you are open and willing to trust but to trust and to love are some of the most appealing and beautiful human qualities.
Holy wow that’s so right on the money. This week I am taking that lesson to heart, opening my heart, and allowing it to be tender when it needs to be. Maybe creating a stronger support system around myself wouldn’t be a bad idea either.