Today I wanted to talk about a very special, beautiful, life-changing book, The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. When I first set my feet on this path of women’s spirituality I heard about this book over and over again and how wonderful it was. There was this woman’s movement of honoring your menstrual cycle and seeing it more as a form of power and less as an inconvenience. I loved that idea.
I saw the trailer for the movie “Things We Don’t Talk” which is all about the modern-day Red Tent movement, women coming together. Women leaning on each other. Being comforted by each other. Drawing power from one another. I thought it was a beautiful idea and it inspired me.
So I bought the book.
It sat on my bookshelf for many months as I got busy with life and forgot about it. I sometimes wondered if the book was for me. It’s based on the stories in the bible. I’m not a big fan of the bible, it’s not something that I find interesting or that I have any desire to read about.
Yet there came the story of Dinah. Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob, who had twelve sons. The book starts off told in Dinah’s voice but it is about her four mothers. Leah — the mother who birthed her. Rachel — her beautiful aunt who had so much sorrow in trying to bear a child. Zilpah who told her the stories and mysteries of the Gods. And lastly, Bilbah, the one that said little and listened much.
You learn the tales of the Red Tent. These wives, who were also sisters and mothers. Their jealousies, their sorrows, and their joys.
Dinah grows up among these women, learning from them, loving them and being loved by them as the sole girl-child. She was their legacy. The one to carry on their stories. Eventually, Dinah grows up and she falls in love for the first time. Tragedy strikes and Dinah’s whole world is shattered. Not being familiar with the bible, I was really shocked by the turn of events in the book and I had doubts about whether or not I was going to like the second half of it. Dinah’s whole world changed and so did the course of the book.
I found myself falling in love with the book even more as it progressed. It ended up being a beautiful story of women helping women. Friendship, grief, birth, struggles, love, sadness, family, forgiveness, motherhood… The themes in this book were just so powerful, especially the ever-present theme of sisterhood that appeared over and over again.
I found something in my heart calling out for that sort of sisterhood.
Not even just in the sense of the Red Tent, a beautiful sacred space shared by women, but also in wanting a strong female friendship. Someone that I could be a sister to and that I could give that in return. It made my heart mourn a little bit for the lack of it. I felt that motherly, nurturing, side of me tugged at a little bit. It made me want to give love and kindness to every woman that I meet.
I think the world needs a little more of that.
I want to give the world more of that. Women can be judgmental, we can be catty, and we can let jealousy rule us in terrible ways. What if we tore that down? And what if we replaced it with compassion? What if we stopped judging one another and just loved each other for one simple reason? Because we can, because it is in our power to do so?
I read the book awhile ago (years) and remember thoroughly enjoying it but, seriously, don't remember the story. Now, I feel I should read it again.
I definitely think it's one of those books that will have a different effect on you each time you read it based on where you are in life. You should give it a go!
ALL TIME FAVORITE BOOK! So happy to hear someone else loves it as much as me. I remember bawling several times, sometimes for happy stuff, some tragic. Such a great book!
It really is! It made me cry too. It's definitely going to be a book I read more than just once and that's rare for me.
I just started reading this book yesterday and I love it so far. I think it's unfortunate that we women are taught in this society to view other women only as competition. I would have loved to live in a society with red tents. Women are natural healers and we heal each other. Want proof? The Harvard nurses study, which lasted for many years, found that women who spend time with other women were healthier, recovered faster and lived longer. :)
Now I wish even more to have bit MORE time to read… I have it here too but not yet read and looking forward to it even more now than when I got it…
I def. get you when you talk about the sisterhood issue.. I do have good friends but sometimes I still feel that "THE" one is lacking and that I'm more or less on my own – kind of…
Just reading this post, I realised that I've gotten to a point where I'm not entirely sure I trust women enough to let others close to me. I've always found it easier to be friends with guys – my best friend and my partner, both guys, are my rocks in life. I think it may be time to try and move through the hurt from the past and see if I can trust other women again to be close to them :)
Since reading the Red Tent lent by some women Ive shared all manner of lifes experiences from birth to miscarriages to breastfeeding, attachment mothering, gin and tonics etc. Having attended a red Tent Day Ive met some beautiful women from aged 22 to 65 (Im 38) that are rocks for me. I feel so blessed to be able to trust and open up to them with no judgement. Groups of women need to pull together and trust each other and bring this back to our society. I do not know where I would be without my tribe of women. I just wish we had a sacred red tent space to retreat to in the days before our period! I might just make one in my front room! : )
Glad to hear you enjoyed the book! I knew you would!!
Yes, friendships with women are a very important part of my life. I really noticed it when I drew up a list of invites for a big birthday party … and most of them were women. I find it's really difficult to make friendships with men.