Celebrating my Growth

I haven’t been writing very much but I was feeling the itch tonight to tap-tap-tap on the keyboard and talk about growth. My growth and yours too. When I decided on my word-of-the-year “Release” – I chose it with such careful intention. I have been tired. I have been carrying so much for so long and I needed to give myself permission to let it go.

I had a revelation a few weeks ago that I have spent so long surviving that I don’t exactly know how to thrive or what that looks like for me. I thought thriving meant moving forward and working hard and always going.

But what I’ve been learning is that growth and thriving can also look like stillness.

Cutting back, trimming the unnecessary, resting… and I feel like for the first time in my life I am blooming flowers.

When I think about my biggest accomplishment this year it’s learning how to rest without feeling guilty. I have been in workaholic mode for so many years (to my detriment) and that’s something that’s celebrated (not to say that I’m not so so proud of what I’ve done in that time) but I am also proud of myself for seeing that it’s not always sustainable and allowing myself time to rest – even when it feels counter-intuitive.

I have relaxed more in the last four months than I think I have my entire life. And it’s been nothing extreme – no tropical beach vacations but quiet mornings on my porch reading. Jigsaw puzzles. Gardening. Walks outside. Cuddles with blankets on rainy days. Evenings watching movies or playing games.

A big part of that has been creating a life that I feel safe in.

We don’t often celebrate the kind of growth that we can’t see from the outside or the kind of growth that often looks like we’re going backward. But it’s still worth celebrating.