aphrodite self love

Connecting with Aphrodite: Goddess of Self-Love

Aphrodite is one of my favorite Goddesses and aside from Hestia, she’s one that I’ve connected with the longest. Almost 15 years. I’m quite a bit witchy and I’ve always been into learning about, and honoring, many different Goddesses. I’ve found that some will show up in my life for a few months to share with me their wisdom, and others are here to stay. Aphrodite has always been one of my constants.

Aphrodite is the Greek Goddess of Love, Beauty, and Sexuality.

She was known for her affairs and lovers, especially with the God of War – Ares, as well as her lack of shame about her sexuality. She freely embraced her sexuality.

I first loved her because I was enchanted with her persona. This lovely Goddess who was full of confidence and was so beautiful with so many gods (and mortals) in love with her. Those were things that I was lacking as a teen so naturally, I looked up to Aphrodite with stars in my eyes. I wanted her to make me beautiful too. Of course, that’s not how it works and as fervently as I prayed I never woke up to be magically beautiful.

As I grew older I started to admire her for other reasons. As I got into my first relationship (which was toxic and terrible) I prayed to her constantly. ‘Make this better, make it work out, make him love me.’ And of course, none of those prayers worked either.

It was after that break up when I realized I was asking for the wrong thing, over and over again.

“Help me love myself.”

And she did. Oh, she did. I went on this whole journey of self-love. I found SARK as well as blogs and websites that were all about self-love. This new world opened up to me. I discovered a million ways to cope with my feelings, depression, and anxiety.

It was a journey that spanned years and that entire time I was single and I was the happiest I’d ever been. I still had periods of bad depression, I still had times when I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I see. It wasn’t an instantaneous transformation, but a gradual one.

Aphrodite showed me how important it was to love myself and then that confidence that I’d always wanted? I started feeling it. I started feeling beautiful and good about myself and I started realizing that I was worthy of love.

The bond that I have with her has changed my life.

Ways to Connect With Aphrodite

My relationship with this Goddess is so important to me and such a daily part of my life. Every day I honor her in some small way. It’s much like a romantic relationship. In the beginning, you want to go big with elaborate rituals and flowers all of the time. Eventually, it transforms into a softer kind of love where it’s not about the big stuff, but the little things.

Here are some ways you can invite Aphrodite (or that loving self-love energy) into your life.

Take a sacred bath. If you want to make it especially Aphrodite-centric you can put pieces of rose quartz around the edge of the tub (or in it). Add rose petals to your bath or rose-scented bath bombs.

Get a fancy lotion and slather it on yourself while thinking loving thoughts about your body.

Spend time by the ocean or a body of water. If that’s not possible listen to ocean sounds on Youtube and let yourself relax. If you want to, you can imagine yourself meeting the Goddess and then just let a mental conversation happen. I guarantee you, you’ll find so much wisdom there.

Give yourself a “personal massage” get in touch with your body and the things that make you feel good.

When you’re in the shower and the water is pouring down over your skin, ask the Goddess to help you wash away all of the negative feelings you’re having about your body or yourself. Do this every time you’re in the shower. Sometimes those negative thoughts build up just like dirt, and they need a daily release.

Love songs are also great!

I always feel close to Aphrodite when I’m listening to songs by Ed Sheeran. Especially Give Me Love, the video is just perfect. You’ll make your own song associations the deeper you go into your practice.

Wear clothes that make you confident and sexy. A tank top and shorts, yoga pants, dresses, skirts, a pair of pants that make your butt look amazing. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it makes you feel pretty.

Make a playlist of songs by women that are about empowerment. Whenever you need a little pick-me-up pull out the headphones and dance around. As weird as it is, I recommend the soundtrack to Trolls, happy upbeat music (for the most part) that you can totally dance to.

Make your bedroom feel like a decadent den of pleasure. Soft, red, sheets. Candles around your room. Tons of pillows. I often have a vase of flowers right by my bed. The day that I launder all of my bedding is always a special day because it just feels so freaking good to lie in a freshly made bed with blankets warm right out of the dryer.

Try using a sleep mask, it’s a cheap way to help yourself get better sleep. I also love using aromatherapy (I have a diffuser in my room) to give a gentle layering of relaxing scent.

Have one of those mornings where you let yourself sleep in and you just stretch and languish and enjoy the feeling of laying in bed.

Write about the reasons you struggle to love yourself.

One of the best tools for personal development is journaling. It helps you really get down to the root of where your negative feelings come from and that gives you the ability to start working on those things.

Surround yourself with ocean colors. Greys, blues, greens. Love associated colors like pink and red are also great for connecting with Aphrodite.

Share love with other people. Find a way to lift up the people around you and make them feel loved. Check out my Random Acts of Kindness love notes.

Have a beauty day. Get your hair done, buy new makeup or new clothes, get a mani/pedi, do a face mask. Sometimes just taking the day to focus on yourself can make you feel like a Goddess. If there’s something you’ve been too self-conscious to try – like a new hairstyle or clothes – step out of your comfort zone and try it anyway.

Get romantic with yourself. Take yourself on a date. Buy yourself flowers or chocolate or your favorite take-out. Wine and dine yourself and allow yourself to be deep in your feelings about yourself. Celebrate yourself.

Allow yourself to find joy in your appearance. Get dolled up and take a new selfie for your social media. Have a provocative picture day where you take sexy pictures for yourself or for someone else. If loving our body is something you struggle with, focus on the features that you love and try to be less critical of the ones you’re struggling with.

Items Associated with Aphrodite

Rose quartz for self-love and chrysoprase and chrysocolla because they make me think of ocean waters.

Sea salt and pink Himalayan salt

Seashells, especially pink ones

Saltwater and ocean water

Sand (Try out sand art!)

Love letters and poetry (I love nayyirah.waheed)

Roses, especially pink and red ones

Fruit like strawberries, apples, and grapes

Rose water or rose scented essential oil or perfumes

Ocean-related creatures like dolphins, fish, and clams.

Doves and swans



How do you connect with Aphrodite?