I want to talk about a grief model that I find really interesting and I thought you might too. It’s also in my Grief Workbook. Margaret Stoebe and Henk Schut came up with the Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement. Their idea is that people bounce back and forth between different types of grief categories.
There is a lot of information about grief and there are still so many things that we don’t know or understand. I love learning about different perceptions of what healthy grief looks like so I wanted to share this with you! Most of us are familiar with the seven stages of grief and how it’s important to move through them in the grieving process.
The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement allows for all of those things that are very grief-oriented, things that are considered “grief work”. BUT it also includes what’s on the other side of it. The things that we do that are focused are on what your new reality looks like. Both things are important. Both things help us move forward.
The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement
Loss-oriented coping would be books and workbooks on grief. It includes things that focus specifically on the grief that you are feeling. Looking at old photos, sharing memories, thinking about what life would be like if they were still here. Support groups and spaces where you are talking about the sadness and the feelings of loss.
Restoration-oriented coping is the things that are helping you restore or rebuild your life. It focuses on the process of moving forward. This may mean learning to fill the spaces left by the loved one or discovering who you are now after your loss.
In-between the two of them is regular life. We bounce between the two and both sides are important. After a time, we begin to experience grief in doses rather than as a constant state.