Today’s card is from Louise L. Hay’s Wisdom Cards and has the message, “I am aware that I am pure consciousness. I am not lonely, or lost, or abandoned. I am one with all of life.” On the flip side. “I am Pure Spirit.”
As you may know, I am single and I have been for years. Most days I love it. Somedays not so much. Oftentimes, I think that it wouldn’t be so bad if I had a supportive group of friends around me, but I don’t. I know that is something that I need to work on and I am trying.
I still get so heart-achingly lonely.
Yesterday I launched my latest ebook and started my life coaching practice. At the end of the day I had no one to celebrate with. No one to tell me that they were proud of me. I do know so many of you are, never doubt that I am thankful for all of the online support I have. It is truly invaluable. I know my Tribe is proud of me and loves me.
It still would’ve been nice to hear it in person. To feel a hug, a pat on the back, something. This left me spending a few hours of the day in a funk. I was watching television and of course there had to be that sweet romantic scene with two people cuddled up tenderly in bed.
It made me cry.
I’m very… we’ll go with picky… about relationships. I haven’t been in one in many years and I honestly think that is for the best. I’ve had prospects of course, but no one who calls out to me on a spiritual level and if I do embark on a relationship, that’s what I want. I know that I’m still young, (I’m 26) but dating doesn’t appeal to me. Anyone that I do see myself developing feelings for, just seems to want the kind of friends-with-benefits relationship that these young’uns are into now a’days, and that doesn’t ring true to me.
So I am here alone, and it’s quite lonely indeed.
Although that feeling of loneliness doesn’t have the power over me that it used to. It will come, it will stay for a bit, and then it will leave. I will not spend a whole day in bed crying. I will not lay lethargic on the couch listening to sad music. I will accept that yes, I am lonely, and yes, this feeling will go away.
I will realize that I am part of something. Something magical and healing. Something beautiful and strong. I am part of you. I am part of the Universe, of the Great Spirit that binds us all together.
It’s hard to feel lonely when you know that you’re part of that.
How do you deal with feelings of loneliness? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Dominee – you are a star shining so bright – your love will find you through the light you continue to send out – Keep shining you are made of starlight and love….
Thank you so much Beth! It helps to know that there are so many of us made of stardust and starlight, all united and melding to create beauty.
Your words just spoke exactly to my heart, sister. They ring so true to me. Especially the part about shame. People try to shame me into relationships. Making fun of me for being single, telling me that I am a spinster and I am going to die alone. I know that they are mostly joking when they say it but the truth is I AM different. Most women my age are settling down and have children and I am not.
I don't allow myself to be ashamed or pressured. I have seen so many relationships in my family and friends that are based on obligation, or neediness, and have very little to do with love and real soul connection. I think important parts of myself would die in a relationship like that. I have trouble with hurting people's feelings, so if I do get in a relationship that isn't RIGHT for me, I fear I would be one of those people who stay because I don't like to hurt people, and I nurture people who need it.
I don't want to be stuck like that. I need my room to grow and I am embracing it!
Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone!
Lots of love to you soul-sister!
Many, many hugs to you, Dominee. I think you're so wise to wait for the relationship you want, the kind of relationship that sings to your soul and nourishes you, with the person who is just right for you. You're listening to what's right for you – and that's so important and so wonderful that you're living your life that way (even if it comes with some painful times, like times of loneliness).
Meeting the right person can happen fast. And you've still got plenty of time for it to happen! I met my husband when I was 25, we got engaged about 9 months after we met, and married 3 months after getting engaged. We've been married over 20 years. There are times I get lonely, though, because it's very possible to have times of loneliness even when being in a relationship with someone, and even if there's a partner and children in the home.
Yesterday was a big day for you! (I love your new ebook!) I'm sorry you had a few hours of being in a funk. Wouldn't it be great if our online friends could be there in person at times like this? (and at other times too!) And… the loneliness doesn't have the power over you, and that's huge! I love what you wrote at the end!
Ohhh sweety, big big hug!!
I know what you feel, my longest relationship lasted for 1 year (lots of fighting included) and recently broke with my boyfriend in December when I realized he didn't love me but just -needed- me. I'm picky too you know (and 23 years old this year). While I fall in love very easy, it's too difficult to give my whole heart to someone. Relationships, I can pick them, a lot. But serious relationships which lasts and goes very deep? Nope. I used to go for the short term relationships – plenty of them, I was afraid to be alone. This energy frequency and way of thinking still gives me trouble: I still attract people who want these kind, they want me for 'something' – but not on a deeper level. After my last relationship I thought: that's it, I'm done with helping others again and again – now it's time to be picky and ONLY pick him who is as unconditional as I am.
You have the right to be picky dear. I don't want you to have the shame sh-t like I had in the past. If you would not be picky, you would have as much trouble as I had and that's really not what you deserve.
Honestly? I think it's very logical why you don't have a boyfriend right now: it's sooooo damn difficult to find a boyfriend who is at the same LOVE level like you! Most of them are faaaar below your level. I know there are people out there who want you… but we don't want the ego's who only need you or want something. We don't want the ones who love us just because they are afraid to be lonely. We want the guy who is, same like us, -not- afraid to be lonely, who love himself and know what unconditional love is. The guy who is happy, with lots of inner wisdom and NOT an energy vampire with expectations.
But you know, there are more bad ones than good ones out there. We can try to be happy with a bad one, but we both now: it will not last. And I'm happy you realize this. I'm happy you have enough self-love and courage to be alone and not to pick someone 'just because' or 'maybe it can work but…'. I'm proud of you!
And there is a good damn reason why you (and me also) are still alone. I truly believe the Universe is watching us, testing us, giving us something to work with – insights, knowledge, inner wisdom just because: when the right guy comes alone, we will be ready with enough insights to make it last.
If you would not live so far, I would celebrate with you together, with a real hug. :))
Much love,
Lindsay
Thank you Gin! It really is hard to wait for the right person/situation to come along but I feel that is the best way to honor what and how I am feeling.
Loneliness is one of those universal feelings that everyone knows what it feels like. It is so helpful to bond over shared experiences and know that we are not alone in what we feel. Single, in a relationship, married, we all experience our moments of it.
I wish that there was an internet vortex that would pull people to you from wherever you are. That would be amazing. Walks in tropical paradise with online friends, tea parties, talking in person, it would be a dream come true. At least I have you all in Spirit if not in person!
Thank you so much sweetie!
{{{Hugs}}} Big congrats on launching your new ebook. I'm proud of you! Stay strong sister. <3
I'm 25, and I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 19. I'm horribly picky about relationships, too, and I'm usually fine with my singleness. It's like months and months of peace with occasional bouts of SOUL CRUSHING DESPAIR…and then I'm okay again.
Anyway – I've been dealing with it more lately. I like to think it's my soul's way of getting me ready for something fabulous in the future, because those of us are picky are picky for a reason, I think. It's probably just mama earth's way of making sure we don't miss the partner we're supposed to have.
When the SOUL CRUSHING DESPAIR creeps up on me (it just requires capital letters, really) I spent inordinate time on the internet, or else being creative. I do a lot of writing. I don't write romance, per se, but my stories have people with relationships in them (because they're about humans) and during the lonely times those relationships get fleshed out. I usually make one or more of my characters experience the SOUL CRUSHING DESPAIR with me – and then give them the lovely solution I don't have yet. <3
I hope you find a good group of supportive in-the-flesh friends, dear sister! It helps.
You are doing a WONDERFUL thing , I have had one of those aching lonely days today , lump in my throat , caught me by surprise a bit as not been like this in a very long time – am 44 – reading your comments has reassured me that I am not alone………
Blessings to all
You nor I or whoever will never find of our pure and perfect love in this flesh realm, flesh body of beings we are. Give it up, throw in the towel, just accept it, your washed up; so now if your completely distraught, depressed, heartbroken, defeated, your washed up and ready to eat a Jesus’ supper table/dinner table. *** Does this sound very inspiring, hopeful, encouraging, uplifting to you, I would surely think not but rather depressing, hopeless, and hopeless it is of us (flesh mankind) to be surpassing of all our/man’s understanding. God is spirit , God is love, God is truth , God is Authentic, God is authentically Pure Spirit Love and the flesh has no relevance and or relationship, to be rather contrary to the spirit of God’s Image of being. Cry your heart out, just let it go and then you will fall into a deep restful sleep to awaken and feel better . Just keep crying your heart away and when it is finally washed away , empty, we just made the way , opened the window for Jesus to come home and begin the journey of coming forth in the relationship, spirit to our spirit union of Pure Spirit Love building, growing**** to give up, give up the fight, the search for our true love is not in our minds vocabulary but it surely needs to be, as Christ will bring it forth to being of Sweet Surrender / the living, life-giving sacrifice ( best choice God ever made for us /the one Jesus made for me and simply out of the blue when I had not even the clue of it coming about (Hebrews 12:2) Love worth waiting for , love that grows to fullness, pureness, trueness, Pure Spirit Love from start to finish, as theflesh would be a temporal layover in bring forth more children. **** so just what am I to do . (what is a man to do to get closer to God, die, deny, humble of this flesh being daily ( gto be of no usefullness)