Updated February 2022
I love affirmations. I used to post them every day on Facebook and Twitter because they have been one of the tools that have really helped me deal with my “stuff”.
Affirmations are statements you can repeat aloud (or silently) that create a positive and/or loving attitude toward yourself.
Affirmations encourage positive self-talk.
One of my biggest issues, when I started my self-love journey, was the way I talked to myself. I was verbally abusive to myself…a lot. I’d call myself fat, ugly, and tell myself that no one was going to love me, ever. I was so stupid for every mistake I made. I should’ve known better, done better, been better…
Affirmations woke me up to a whole new way of speaking to myself. I know that some people think affirmations are lame, and that’s totally okay. You don’t have to change your mind because different things work for different people and if affirmations aren’t one of your things, that’s okay! But for me, they triggered a wonderful change in how I saw myself.
A lot of people are turned off from affirmations because they don’t feel real or authentic or believable. Some affirmations are a little out there. “My body is finally catching up with the skinny person that lives inside it.” I’ve seen that one – noooo thank you.
But affirmations don’t have to be like that.
Affirmations also don’t have to be all light and lovey-dovey. Don’t get me wrong, I like those, and I use those, but that might not be your thing and some days it’s not my thing. I’m just as likely to say “Today I overcome all of my problems and everything goes my way.” as I am: “I am totally going to kick this day’s ass and it’s going to freaking rock.”
Find what works for you.
Modify the language so that it feels more comfortable. Some people prefer their affirmations to be action statements. “I embrace, I release, I focus on. I choose to…”
Some prefer reassurance or mindfulness and being statements. “I am…”
And still, others relate best to “re-parenting” affirmations. These affirmations are spoken to your inner child using language that I parent would use. “I am so proud of you. You are doing a wonderful job.”
Speak your affirmations in your own language.
It’s all about discovering what language works for that lovely brain of yours.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a badass. Tell yourself that you are going to rock this day. That you are going to get massive amounts of shit done. That you are fucking amazing. Dance in front of the mirror and just admire how happy or cute or radiant you look.
You don’t have to turn into some sort of enlightened guru to connect with yourself. As long as what you are saying feels good and is positive in your interpretation then go for it ya know? Make it colorful, make it fun, make it true to who you are.
Know what your negative self-talk sounds like.
The best affirmations are the ones that can help drown out the negative things that you think and feel about yourself. Make a list of the most common negative, mean, or self-destructive things that you think about yourself, and then make a list of affirmations that are the opposite of them.
It’s okay to be neutral.
One person might like the affirmation “I am going to have a good day today. Everything is going to go my way.”
“I am going to get through this day.” is an affirmation that is just as valid.