Managing Travel Anxiety

I’ve talked about how when you have anxiety – your nervous system can mistake excitement for anxiety. Today we’re going to chat about travel anxiety – something that’s supposed to be fun and exciting but for many of us, the good feelings get drowned out with anxiety. You all know how much I’ve struggled with agoraphobia and when I was in my 20s, getting me to go to a different grocery store was a miracle – so something like taking a plane ride or even traveling out of state was an impossibility. Leaving my “safe zones” felt like I was being shoved onto the set of a horror movie where the big bad scary was, well… everything outside my front door.

And yet, here I am – in my 40s. I’ve traveled out of state multiple times, gone to my very first concert, and even gotten on an airplane (it was a short flight, but that’s a huge milestone).

Do I still get nervous? Absolutely. Were there still some really crappy anxiety side-effects? Yessss. But did I get through it and was I glad I did it? Also yes.

Give Yourself Permission NOT to Enjoy Yourself

The biggest tip I have is give yourself permission not to enjoy yourself. Radical, right? There’s so much pressure when you finally do something brave. Like, “Okay anxiety, I beat you, now I must be having the time of my life!” But what if you’re not? What if you’re sweaty, queasy, and wishing you were home in stretchy pants with Netflix? That’s 100% okay!

You’re still brave. You showed up. That counts. And it’s okay if the day ends up being “meh” or even “nope.”

For example – my whole entire life I’ve wanted to go to a concert. Rite of passage right? Something EVERYONE has done. I went to my first concert at 37 and you know what? I didn’t really care for it. And even better than that – I’m okay with it! I tried it and I didn’t like it and instead of beating myself up about not being “normal”, I realized it’s just who I am. I still did it and I found something out about myself – win! Way better than NOT trying and never knowing.

Let Yourself Change Plans

I don’t know about you – but as an anxious person, when I travel, I have to have it all planned out. Like to the minute. And do you know what that type of inflexibility often leads to? Chaos. Because rarely are your carefully made plans going to plan the way you planned.

So give yourself permission to change plans. Sometimes knowing that you’re allowed to leave early, skip an activity, or hole up in the hotel room with a book makes all the difference. Having a way out reduces the pressure, which ironically makes it easier to stay. Nothing wrong with lowering your expectations!

Pack Comforting Things

You’re not weird if you need to bring your favorite blanket or a stuffed animal. When you’re traveling whatever makes traveling easier for you is exactly what you need to bring! No one’s going to give you an award for white-knuckling through it.

Sometimes it’s not about the destination but about about how safe you can make the journey feel.

Tiny Wins Matter

When I look at my journey through agoraphobia – it’s sprinkled with tiny wins. Lots, and lots, and LOTS of tiny wins that all helped me get to where I am. Each time I did something out of my comfort zone I was able to prove something to myself (that I had the ability to do the thing!). And every time I traveled somewhere, I showed my future-self that 99% of the time things work out.

Which makes the next time easier, which makes the time after that easier, and so on. It’s like you’re knocking 1% off the difficulty each time you travel

Learn to Spot Catastrophizing & Worst-Case Scenario Thinking

One of the biggest culprits behind my travel anxiety is that sneaky little brain gremlin called catastrophizing. Your brain is consumed with the worst possible outcome for alllll the things.

Even if the chances of those things happening are slim to none.

And that’s what you remind yourself. The bad stuff is not going to happen (and even if it does – chances are you’re capable of handling it!). But really, focus on calling those thoughts out and naming them, and then reframing them with what’s factual and evidence-based. Do not let your brain run away with you.

Make a Pre-Travel Anxiety Checklist

The first time I went out of state, I was convinced I did not lock the door. BUT I knew I did because I paid extra close attention to doing it. And I was able to fight the intrusive thought that I did not. I kept reminding myself over and over ‘Dominee, you locked it, I PROMISE.’ Anxiety is dumb like that. But that feeling of forgetting something can totally start a never-ending spiral so before you travel – come prepared.

Make a pre travel anxiety checklist. Before you leave, you go through your house and check the things your brain usually panics about:

• Curling iron, straightener, or hair dryer turned off
• Stove and oven off
• Doors locked
• Windows closed and locked
• Thermostat set
• Coffee pot unplugged

The magic part? You check each thing while marking it off your list. That way, when the “OMG DID I REALLY TURN IT OFF?!” thought pops up mid-flight, you have irrefutable proof that you did.

Know You’re Doing Awesome!

If your version of travel is one night away instead of a week, that’s still travel. If your “vacation” is exploring the park two towns over, that’s still exploration.

And also – it’s totally okay to talk to your doctor and see what they recommend. If medication might be helpful, try it! There’s nothing wrong with finding out what works for YOU.

Travel anxiety is probably never going to go away for me and that’s okay as long as I can manage it in healthy ways. I still have to use extra brain-process and I still double-check maps like Dora the Explorer with WiFi. But I’ve also had a ton of fun, have some pretty awesome bragging rights when anxiety is being an ass, and I’ve learned how to meet myself where I am with kindness and still do things I’m anxious to do.

Question for readers:
If you live with anxiety, what’s one tiny win you’ve had when it comes to traveling and travel anxiety?