My midyear self-care review

My Midyear Self-Care Review for 2024

We’ve made it halfway through the year and as I re-did the design for the Midyear Self-Care Workbook, I really started thinking about where this year has led me. At the beginning of the year, my intention, my word-of-the-year was ‘ease’.

I was so optimistic that ‘ease’ would be achievable and it has not been. This year has been stressful AF. And so was the year before. And the year before that. I am tired. One of the aspects that I struggle with is trying to understand if my reactions to stress are normal. I have had hyper-sensitive stress levels since I was a child and I’ve worked really hard to get to a point where I feel like I can manage normal, adult, stress without it tip-toeing into anxiety (if that makes sense).

midyear self-care

But what is an acceptable level of “normal, adult, stress”?

That’s the question, right? And that’s what I’m beginning to pinpoint as one of my biggest problems this year. Instead of just managing my stress – I’m constantly questioning whether or not my reactions to stress are appropriate. And then that stresses me out and makes me anxious because I feel like I’m absolutely failing as an adult.

Can you tell that I’m in my head, quite a bit?

One of the biggest stressors this year has been my sweet cat Pistol being diagnosed with diabetes. He’s an old man and trying to get the right treatment for him was exhausting. For a while, he was having at least one vet visit a week, and that went on for almost two months. My brain said – “Normal adults can handle this. Normal adults can have this disruption in their schedule and not even be bothered.”

I had to start each morning giving him his medicine and while he’s easy about it 95% of the time, when it wouldn’t be easy, I would feel so defeated all day long.

And I still feel a little defeated, to be honest.

Pistol is thriving, his meds are working, and his levels and weight are stable and perfect, but it’s like my body hasn’t let go of the weeks of stress and I don’t know how to make it let go.

And another thing that’s been stressing me out is my book, which I feel so guilty talking about. So many people never get the chance to get published and I feel like I don’t have the right to complain about anything but it’s also something that’s been deeply affecting me and maybe if I get it out it’ll feel better.

When a publisher first reached out to me about publishing the Self-Love Rainbow Workbook I was over the moon about it. And scared and anxious because hello – this is me. The process toward publishing it started at the end of 2022 and the first part of 2023. I spent months creating artwork, approving edits, tweaking parts of it. I felt like a real professional with a team of editors and we were all working together to create this thing that was so freaking dear to me.

And then it was published and I felt like I had been ghosted.

The publisher’s launch photo.

They didn’t actually ghost me but there was very very little contact. There weren’t any promos I was aware of aside, from a book giveaway on Goodreads and one they organized for social media. One blog review. No press in magazines. No social media campaigns. Nothing. I remember asking if they had any promo images and aside from one, there was nothing.

The overseas launch got delayed and no one gave me any information. The Workbook was supposed to launch October 31st and UK and AU sellers still didn’t have the book in January. It was so embarrassing to not have answers and to feel like I had let so many people down.

After many emails, someone finally got back to me, answered some of my questions, and then disappeared into the nether again. I haven’t heard from anyone for five months now. I’m not even sure if they’re at fault. They’ve fulfilled what’s in my contract. I’ve fulfilled my part too. Maybe I had unrealistic expectations because the publisher is small and the actual creation of the book involved a lot of feedback and communication. The whole thing has been so disappointing.

I also feel like every not-good-enough-fear I had about myself came true.

And that’s been weighing so heavy on me. Do I feel better after writing it all down? I don’t know. Maybe I will later. I hope so.

That’s been the bulk of my year in a nutshell. Big ol’ ball of stress. And not to get political but the political climate here in the US and the upcoming election makes my stomach hurt. Literally hurt.

But, I also want to talk about some things that have gone well. My midyear self-care achievements if you will.

  • I’ve done a much better job this year at setting better ‘stop working at this time’ boundaries in my life.
  • Physically my body feels SO good. I worked in a physically demanding job for almost 17 years. Then working from home full-time for the last three years. Both hurt my body in different ways. One with too much pushing and movement and one with not enough. I’m finally not having foot/ankle pain for the first time in a decade and my back feels better than it ever has. Those are huge wins.
  • Family life is good. My brother is thriving, my hubby is doing well, and no more back surgeries on the horizon.
  • And on the business front – my Patreon page is doing better than ever and I am so thankful for that. It’s been awesome.

Sometimes it feels like the stressful has outweighed everything else but I really have the best life in so many ways. I get to do what I love and I’ve made such a safe and wonderful home and space for myself (and that type of online space for others- I hope).

So that’s my midyear self-care review.

I think today I’m going to re-do my vision board for this year. I think “ease” looks different than I thought it did. And that’s okay. I’m going to cuddle my kitty and be thankful that he’s his cute adorable self. I’m going to find something good to read to wind down before bed. (Any good thrillers you’re loving? Pop them in the comments because I need recommendations.) And I’m going to take a really hot shower and maybe have an itty bitty cry because the last six months have been HEAVY.

I’d love to hear how you’re doing and if you’d like to check out my Midyear Self-Care Evaluation for something to guide you through it, you can find it in my shop for $8.