Putting Yourself Out There

One of the things that I am really proud of is my ability to put it all out there.

Unapologetically. (Mostly) Fearlessly. And Honestly.

It’s one of the things that I love about myself and that others love and admire about me as well. Want to know a secret?

I’m a rather private person.

I know you’re thinking “But Dominee, you share stuff all the time.” It’s true here, this is my safe space, with my heart-tribe, where my reservations jump out of the window. In my day-to-day life I am not used to sharing, I’m not used to being an open book, and actually talking about myself and my experiences and my secrets? It’s nearly unheard of.

So how do I do it? It’s hard sometimes. The things I share are sometimes my deepest darkest shames and secrets or my wildest dreams. It’s hard to put that out there, especially on the internet where anyone can see it. It’s scary and makes me feel fragile and vulnerable but do you want to know what else it makes me feel?

Liberated, free, inspiring.

Everytime I’m about to hit that ‘publish’ button and I get that semi-queasy feeling I remember why I do it and how good it feels when I do.

Am I afraid that everyone thinks what I do sucks? That I’m being silly and pointless? That nothing that I do makes a difference? That I’m just wasting my time? That everyone else is so much better and I am just-not-good-enough? Yeah, sometimes I do but I show up anyway. I push past those fears, I put them in a time-out corner and I go about my business.

How do you put yourself out there in a way that feels good?

Find the right tribe.

This just isn’t from a business perspective. This is big life stuff. Tell your truths and your stories to the right people. Back when I was in the depths of depression I was needy and desperate for a friend. I latched on to the first person that I could, told them my entire life story, and then wondered why my story wasn’t honored. Things got told to other people, or misconstrued, I got made fun of, I got belittled and I didn’t understand why.

I wasn’t trusting the right people.

This also translates to the blog. I think that I attract a certain kind of person. Compassionate, lovely, souls who aren’t quick to pass judgement and who listen with empathy and thoughtfulness  In the almost two years since I’ve started this blog I don’t believe that I’ve ever had a mean spirited or belittling comment (Hopefully I didn’t just jinx myself!).

Know what kind of people you want to attract both in your life and in your business!

Change up the what-ifs.

You’re afraid of putting yourself out there. What if they don’t get you? What if you aren’t taken seriously? What if you are a colossal failure of epic proportions? What if… what if… what if…

What if what you want to say will touch someone? What if it will make someone feel less alone? What if it will inspire change in someone? What if you will be wholly and fully accepted? What if the burden will be lifted?

There’s always the chance that you won’t be well-received, that someone just won’t get it, but there’s also the chance that great things will happen.

Go within.

If you feel afraid about putting yourself out there ask yourself why. What are you most of afraid of? Is that a valid fear? Also ask yourself why you want to share something. Are you seeking validation or approval? (we all do sometimes and that’s okay) Are you wanting to unburden yourself? Are you wanting to share for some greater purpose?

Once you are firm on your purpose it’s easier to let it out into the world.

Be aware and be honest.

Trust your intuition and just do it.

Tell someone that you love them. Reconnect with someone you miss. Write that thing that you’ve been wanting to write. Say that thing you’ve been needing to say.

Do something that you know deep down in your bones that you are meant to do.

Be Brave.