Hello my loved Sweeties,
It’s time for another stop on our Journeys, a check-in with one another. A place of hugs, gentle soothing whispers, songs of triumphs and you-can-do-its.
“It’s funny how, in this journey of life, even though we may begin at different times and places, our paths cross with others so that we may share our love, compassion, observations, and hope. This is a design of God that I appreciate and cherish.”― Steve Maraboli
So let’s have a chat about where we are right now.
Here’s what’s going on with me. For as long as I can remember I’ve been interested in woman’s spirituality, paganism, and Wicca. I wasn’t raised in a very religious household but I did go to a Christian church for a few years when I was very young. When I started studying other paths I found myself forming a dislike for the Christian beliefs. It’s never been something that I gave very much thought to, or something that I read a lot about. Until lately. I’ve been very interested in the story of Mary Magdalene.
My interest in her kind of popped up out of nowhere and now I am very interested in her story and her place in history. I think part of it stems from how I identify with how she transformed. She was seen as a sort of fallen woman and upon embracing her spirituality and her devotion to it, she became something more. Good stuff.
I’ve also been reading The Red Tent by Anita Diamant which again goes back to biblical references even though it’s fiction. It is the story of Dinah, daughter of Jacob, and her story from a woman’s point of view. I’m only past the first 100 pages, and so far the story centers around Jacob’s four wives, and Dinah and their lives as well as their time spent in the Red Tent. The Red Tent is where women were sent during menstruation every month, as well as where they birthed their children, and shared their secrets.
It’s really empowering from a female perspective and it has really deepened my need for sisterhood.
What else is going on with me? I’ve talked a lot about the friendship that I let go of last year. I am going to end up seeing her next week. Her husband is my best friend, as well as my co-worker, and very bestest computer game partner. He and I have been friends for almost five years now. Anyway, I invited him and his kids to go see the Avengers with me. I told him that if he felt called to invite her as well I would be okay with it. I didn’t want to cause a jealousy issue or make anyone feel left out. He did end up extending the invitation to her and now I think I regret it.
It is not that I have any ill-will towards her, quite the opposite. It has been a year since our friendship ended and I secretly wish that things could be okay. That this would lead to a re-kindling of our friendship. That things might really be better. The truth is, I believe that those feelings are one-sided. I do not believe she would want a friendship with me and I’m okay with that. I just know that I have tender feelings and I do not want them to be hurt.
I have mentioned I have trouble letting go, right?
Ultimately I know that it’ll be okay and I’ll have a fine time. If I do end up feeling fragile afterwards, that’s okay too. I know what to do to take care of me. I know just the salves and balms to rub lovingly on those sore spots. I just needed to get it out a bit.
So this week I ask you, what struggles are you having? What are you loving, enjoying, reading? What are you proud of? If you have a blog, post the link to your favorite post of the week. If you like to photograph, let us see the picture! I love to spend just a few moments with you, sharing in your life and in your journey.
Much love to you sweet soul.
I have almost the same background as you on religious upbringing and interests. I've always been a bit fascinated with Mary Madaglene as well, although quite honestly I haven't researched much on her. "The Red Tent" sounds like it would be interesting, this is the first I've heard about it. Wishing you luck on your journey with this upcoming situation with your old friend. I have followed most of your story on her (and have experienced something similar), so I'm wishing you much strength no matter how it turns out.
Now to answer your questions! On struggles… well, you have actually been kind enough to stop by my blog this week (thank you!!) so you already know of those. I think I have effectively covered that. This week's enjoyment would be my oldest child's Girl Scout ceremony. Just one of those mommy moments. I'm currently reading "Revolutionary Road" by Richard Yates ("The story of young couple who are bored by the banalities of
suburban life and long to be extraordinary. Their
decision to try to change their lives for the better leads to betrayal and
tragedy.")
Favorite post of the week was kind of simple and to the point: http://domesticgoddessdawson.blogspot.com/2012/05/gratitude.html
Letting go of hurts from people is really hard for me, even harder if I am angry over the hurting of a loved one. I try to remember that they have their own baggage too, I try to be compassionate and understanding…. but truthfully I hold grudges for a long time with most people that intentionally harm another. Hmmm…. can you forgive someone and still think they are a bitch ? I think so. I hope so, cause its how I roll.
Forgiving someone I love is a lot different. I can forgive almost anything, even too much. I can forgive so much that I lose myself in the bargain. Boundaries are a work in progress for me as is my self worth.
Religions, I have had a few ;) These days I just go where the energy is good and enjoy myself and the gathering. I go to a Catholic church with a great mariachi band playing "Holy, holy, holy" and I dance in circles in the park with pagans, I might show up at a temple for meditation, or solo under a tree near some moving water.
BTW, I am also moseying through The Red Tent. It found its way to me while I was in those classes and I pick it up here and there to relax. I am just now at the big move. So far, I am enjoying the tent but ya know, I am all about female power and am still not quite understanding about the sharing of a husband, or the buying of women for brides and servants. xoxo
Hey Dominee ~ This is a good post; very thought provoking. Mary Magdalene was truly THE FIRST APOSTILE. She was the first to believe in the resurrection, without any doubts. The others all doubted, though Thomas doubted even when he saw Jesus with his own eyes. But I digress. There was a pope in the middle ages who took it upon himself to call her a whore and unfortunately that reputation remains to this day. Nothing historically or scripturally states that she was anything except the lady with the alabaster jar full of primo oil. It's sad that her rep is such as it is. I intend to learn more about her too and will soon read her gospel. Do you know what I find really interesting? The earliest people who organized and supported Jesus and the other apostiles were WOMEN. That's right, {for those who may not be aware}, the early Christian church was actually organized and maintained by women. Now doesn't that make it even more of a shame for how the church has treated women ever since? My family is Christian, but my parents were non-practicing when I grew up so my mother decided to let my brother and I choose our religion for ourselves so they never took us to church. Pretty open minded, but I would have loved to have had a spiritual foundation and at times during my childhood I reached out for it yet was constantly disappointed. Mainly, I wish someone had taught me about faith and how to practice using it. Today I am a woman who experienced a shamanic death and welcomed Goddess into my life. I see beauty in all religions and respect the love that they spread and the charity that they practice and preach. It's a sad irony though that so much pain throughout history has been caused by organized religions.
The Red Tent ~ I loved learning about those tents and how they existed all over the world. Really wish we could go back to that. I attended a red tent temple for the first time this February and loved it! It was beautiful, powerful, lovely, warm, supportive and really a dream come true. In fact Sis, that night I dreamt of my inner child and for the first time ever she looked healthy and content. Talk about powerful healing! For years I wanted to experience a red tent. I would love to create red tent temples myself. I'm going to get that book too. :)
About letting go of certain relationships; I've been there. In fact, it took me years to realize that I needed to distance myself from certain relatives as well since they are so toxic. It's like Ilyana Vanzant says "I love you… from a distance." There was one friendship that I'd had since we were 11 and we'd been thru many different things over the yrs, then it tapered off. I prayed for clarity and what came to me is the biggest difference between us: that person is a drinker and I am not. In hindsight, there were many times when I drank or even drank too much in that person's company. {I alone am responsible, but the company we keep does influence us whether we are aware of it or not.} And now I understand, I've been on a deep spiritual journey and I don't need anyone around me who chooses lower energies. I also learned to rely on myself, be my own cheerleader and learned to turn to Spirit for guidance and for challenges, etc.
Beautiful post.
Right now I am struggling.
I feel like no matter how hard I try to be there for others, others never want to be there for me. I know that it starts within myself. I know that I need to take care of me. But at the same time I need a support system. I need friends. I can't do it all alone. We're not meant to struggle alone are we?
How do I do this? How do I let go of the need/want of people to be there for me and let being there for myself be enough?
Thank you so much for your words, your thoughts, and your sharings.
I too wish I would've had a spiritual foundation in my family. I think it would have been very nourishing and perhaps it would have been something that would have made us closer. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge of Mary Magdalene! It is sad how patriarchal societies and religious views have limited or corrupted Woman's role in so many things.
I have longed to go to a Red Tent gathering, unfortunately there are none in my area but I will find one in my lifetime. It is a dream of mine to create my own someday but I don't quite think I'm there. Have you seen any information on the documentary The Red Tent Movie? It looks pretty amazing.
I love the "I love you… from a distance." That is definitely a nugget of truth and wisdom that I am going to hold with me.
Many hugs and sweet blessings. Thank you for sharing sister.
Hello sweet heart, you are right. You can't always do it alone. Some of what I 'preach' is self-reliance and loving yourself and all of that but it's so hard to do when you don't have a support system. Your tribe is out there, maybe right here with me and all of these other beautiful souls. You don't have to struggle alone, because you aren't alone.
Online tribes are awesome.
Spirit helpers like angels and guides, Gods and Goddesses and Ancestors might be a comfort.
I am here for you sweets, to listen if you need an ear. Dominee at blessingmanifesting.com
Warm hugs to you.
I am working on having boundaries too. Sometimes I have so much trouble letting people in and then I have trouble letting people out. We are works in progress!
In the Red Tent I am at the big move too! I really am not jiving with the sharing of the husband thing either, but with how the focus is on the bonds between all of the women and how they rely on each other even through jealousies and hardship is just really beautiful to me.
Thank you for sharing my love!
Thank you so much Winter.
The story about the Red Tent is ultimately about Sisterhood and it leaves me longing for that kind of energy in my life. I find it missing, however I am a big fan of believing that things fall into your life when they are supposed to and I think this yearning is good for me.
I've seen the movie Revolutionary Road and I really liked it. I love how you reference it and Titanic on your blog. You have a really beautiful way of writing.
Yay for Mommy Moments! And I love that post! I used to only acknowledge the things I was grateful for when I wanted to ask the Universe for something else. Now it's just enough to be grateful for it's own sake!
Your comment on my writing: a million thanks! It means the world to me! I used to be a very avid writer and then when I became a mother it all fell on the wayside. I'm trying (with my blogs) to work on my rusty writing skills. And I'm just going to take this opportunity to say that from what I have read on your blogs and posts you are the the wise and insightful person I wish that I had been when I was your age! (I think you are 26? I am 10 years older). I mean, I loved me and loved my life when I was your age but if I'd been in your mindset and had some of your wisdom back then life would have been beyond ahh-mazing.