Hey there gorgeous soul. Today is another stop on the Sacred Journey, yours and mine. I’ll share with you how things are going with me, in my personal life, and you can do the same. You can always feel free to comment here and I’ll respond with my own wisdom, or with gigantic hugs.
I love hearing from you.
So this is where I’m at right now. I released my latest project and just like last time I’m descending into darkness. And you know what? That’s totally okay. I’ve realized that this is part of my spiral. See that beautiful picture up there? When I’m creating something I dance among the brightly lit and vibrantly colored tiles and everything feels beautiful and perfect. I feel on top of the world. When I finish my project and release it out into the world I get post-project-blues. Do you ever go through anything like that?
Suddenly what I did doesn’t seem good enough and I begin to doubt myself.
I go down the spiral, walking in the in-between. Walking in the dark. I know that the spiral will end and that I will find the brightness again, but the descent down is still dark and lonely. At times like this I do a lot to realign myself with where I want to be. I sleep a lot and spend time relaxing and doing things that don’t put demands on my time or stress me out.
I also take a deep look at my feelings and why I feel them.
Some emotions are worth keeping and others just need to be let go of. Lately I’ve been concentrating on dealing with my “base” emotions. Take insecurity for example, when I feel insecure suddenly I feel this wave of other emotions. Feeling insecure about my work suddenly starts this domino effect of other emotions that really have nothing to do with how I’m really feeling. They just see the opening and they rush in. I sift through them, tossing away the emotions that are just there to be there out of old habits that I’m letting go of.
This part of the spiral leads to wisdom.
I’m contemplating a new tattoo! I’ve fallen in love with the idea of having a teeny heart tattooed on my wrist as a tangible reminder of the love that I have for myself. Even I sometimes forget to love myself. It’s always good to have a reminder!
So how are you doing this week? I’d love to hear from you!
You are not alone in this. Personally I do the same thing. I work so hard at planning my life, formulating plans to make my dreams a reality, and coming up with creative ways to manifest the impossible. I know when I've taken it as far as I can, and that it is time to let Spirit take over. I know this. Detachment time. Yup. I'm aware of when I'm there. That's when I spiral. What if my plans aren't good enough? What if I'm wrong? What if it really is impossible? What if……doubt, doubt, doubt. Detachment has now become sabotage and the spiral downwards has begun….sigh. My greatest lesson is allowing Spirit to actually take over for me and let go of whatever control I imagine I have……sigh…..not easy for a control enthusiast to do.
ME TOO ! I go go go and it feels Sooooooooooooooooo good and then swish~ its launched, done, gone, over, or something. Maybe the high of creating is exhausting for some of us. Self care is an essential part of my life, without it nothing would get created because I couldn't bare the after effects of creating. I take the time to sleep, watch mindless shows on netflix, in the cooler seasons I walk more.
I seriously crashed after that huge Diva Day for 20 Survivor Sisters- treating ourselves to a day of glamor. Sometimes I think it is because I don't or can't own the goodness I have created, or that stepping out of my comfort zones is wildly uncomfortable. Putting it all out there takes some replenishing, but I would love to be able to sit and "own the goodness" that I got to create and share. I just haven't figured that part out yet.
Love you <3
What a great reminder, I really need to concentrate on remembering that I can let go and give it to Spirit instead of always trying to be in control!
Yes, yes, yes! I think you totally hit exactly how I feel. I'm definitely concentrating on the replenishing aspect. I wanted to feel 'recovered' after a few days but I think I might need a week or two! I'm trying to be okay with that!
I completely know how you're feeling – we seem to have the same spiral. :)
I think for me it's that my soul is the part of me who sends the project out into the world before the ego part of me can catch up. And once it's done, I have time to reflect and dissect each part of it. That's when the vulnerability enters – when worry enters. Will it be good enough? What was I thinking putting this out there in the first place? Am I shining too brightly? These are all completely normal emotions, and I love that you know that this is all a part of the process. Big hug to you. I'm sending lots of love your way.
I honestly don't get the post-project blues, but I DO have my own spirals. My take on it is that it's the way all life goes – just look at nature – expansion, recession, stillness in between. Going back or inwards isn't very valued in our time, so it seems like something negative, until we realise it's not, really, it's a necessary part of the process! I'm only just getting to this realisation. D'oh, you might say! :-)
Much love and blessings!
Sibylle
Dominee~ I admire you SO MUCH for believing in your message enough to put it out there into the world. Putting everything into a project – time, energy, love – and then the birthing is over and we must be refilled and restored. I think you are such a beautiful soul and the fact that you choose to share you message of self-love is wonderful.
You explained it absolutely beautifully. Part of myself does go into everything that I do and I think I figured out the secret to getting over it as quickly as possible, start a new project! Hehehe.
I actually hadn't thought about how society pushes us not to be still, to always be busy, I think that's part of why I resisted it at first but now that I've accepted it and let it come and go I feel muuuuch better! Lots of loooove to you!
Thank you! It does feel like birth and I try to remember that I've got to give the self-love and self-care to me too! Lots of lovelovelove and blessings to you!