Self Love doesn’t equal Selfishness.

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”― Oscar Wilde

One of the misconceptions about self love is that it is a selfish act. To which I say Hells No! Selfishness is defined as:

Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

Now, I’m all for you being devoted to you, and of course you should be concerned with your own interests, but true selfishness is usually born out of ego and out of a complete lack of regard for other people. Taking the time and the space for yourself is rarely going to cause other people injury or harm.

When you make the space to love yourself, you make more space to love others. 

I wish I could put into words how much truly loving myself has allowed me to love others. Before I started this journey, loving someone wasn’t about them, it was about me. What they could do for me, how they could make me feel better about myself. I loved people, not for who they were, but for whether or not they could temporarily chase away my self-loathing, my insecurities, and my pain.

I loved them for who I wanted them to be, not for who they were. As long as I got attention to soothe my fragile ego and the un-loved-ness parts of myself, I didn’t care about anything else.

Now that I actually feel good about myself, a lot of my relationships have changed for the better, there have been huge shifts… growing pains… but each of them have come out the other side better and stronger than they were before. I have learned to value people by who they are, not by what they give my ego. My self love practices have really changed me in so many ways. I can finally love unconditionally.

Ain’t nothin’ selfish about that!

So, what I am trying to get across is get thee to loving thyself. It is not only a gift that you give to yourself, but one that you give to the world.

Have you ever felt guilty or selfish for taking time for you? How has self love changed your relationships with those around you?