Sometimes I’m Mean to Me

Sometimes I’m mean to me… but I’m getting better.

Have you ever had days when you look in the mirror and nothing good comes to mind? Or you’re getting ready to go out, you try on your favorite shirt, and all you can think about is how unattractive you look? Days when looking in the mirror allows you to see nothing but criticisms?

I have those days.

A few weeks ago I was walking home from work and taking pictures of myself, because I’m a selfie addict. Since my face has gone back to normal after the evil Bell’s Palsy episode, I can’t stop taking pictures of my lovely face and admiring it, being grateful for every second that it works the way it’s supposed to.

Anyway, back to the story.

I took a picture of myself and I thought that I looked absolutely hideous, and that’s what went through my head, “Omg, you are absolutely hideous.” Suddenly another voice spoke up using that same voice. “I really don’t appreciate that. You are beautiful.” I then promptly apologized to my body because one bad picture doesn’t mean I’m the ugliest thing that ever was.

A few days later, I was going out to the movies and wanted to wear something that wasn’t a t-shirt so I tried on my favorite blue-green swirly top. I looked down and my tummy suddenly looked huge. In frustration I took off the shirt while mentally chastising myself for how fat I’d let myself become. That voice spoke up again, “Seriously? That’s not very nice. Look in the mirror right now and tell me that’s not the very definition of hotness.” So I looked in the mirror and that voice was right, I liked what I saw in the mirror, so I apologized to my body, put on a different shirt, and then went on my merry way.

Thank you Body Warrior Goddess Voice.

All of my work on myself, each time I thought something negative and then turned it around, it’s paid off. Changing those negative thoughts is no longer a manual recalibration, but an automatic one. Turning that criticism or insult into something positive now happens naturally without having to mentally remind myself to do it. It’s pretty amazing.

If positive self talk is something that you struggle with, then I tell you to keep at it. Each time you change your thoughts around, you are creating a bridge in your mind, you are connecting the truth to those lies that you tell yourself.

You are making a positive change, and eventually it’s going to stick.

How’s your self-talk? Negative, positive, a little bit of both?