vul·ner·a·ble [vuhl-ner-uh-buhl]
adjective
1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
This post has been floating around in my head all night. I have been feeling vulnerable lately. There are so many things coming together and with that, old wounds have been ripped open and are now truly healing. I have dealt with a lot in the last few months and I feel like I’ve been very strong throughout my challenges. Which is funny as I’ve never thought of myself as a strong person. Fragile, delicate, easily broken — those are things I could identify with. However, the last few months I have been so strong for myself, I became someone I could rely on to make myself feel better. What an amazing gift that is.
Today I don’t feel very strong.
I feel raw, and cracked wide open, and it’s a scary feeling. Vulnerability has something to teach me. It has something to teach all of us. It makes us feel awkward and it pushes us out of our comfort zone, but it is there for a reason. There is a purpose to it. It is there to be felt and experienced. I am currently trying to sit with this feeling and figure out why I am feeling it. I could get upset, I could ignore it, but instead, I am studying it.
What has vulnerability taught me today?
It has taught me how far I’ve come, how much stronger I am. It’s shown me that I’m struggling right here in this moment. And that’s okay.
It’s telling me that I care. That I have a big, open, amazing heart. In the past, I was so afraid to tell people that I loved them. I was too afraid to show emotion and vulnerability. I realize that I have changed in that way and it’s made me stronger even when it makes me feel tender and naked. Now I can say love, and feel love easily. Instead of being so controlling about how I feel about others and how they feel about me I am open and I allow it to just flow. That is vulnerability, isn’t it? Yet at the same time, I credit it as a way I have been strong.
Vulnerability leads to strength. It is strength. It does not equal weakness, it does not mean that we aren’t strong at the same time. We are made to feel and we are made to be broken open every once and awhile.
And it’s okay.
I’ve realized that I am pushing myself to greatness, putting my feelings and experiences out for the world to read. I wouldn’t be who I am if that didn’t make me feel exposed. I am being brave and vulnerable and I am being honest with the people in my life and I no longer have anything to hide behind. Realizing who I am and who I am meant to be is a revelation. That woman, that inner me, is naked and vulnerable and doesn’t quite know where she fits in yet. She doesn’t know what changes are coming, what this transformation will mean. It’s scary.
Of course I am sitting here in tears. My world is turning upside down.
I know it’s good and I know it’s for the best and I see so many blessings and joys just up ahead, but right here, right now I am afraid. I take a deep breath and see this as what it is, growing pains. We get them no matter what age we are. Today happens to be a new moon, a time for new beginnings and I am taking it as a sign that this is a new beginning for me. It is okay to feel how I feel right now. Better things will come along. The wind will stop whipping at my branches and ripping at my leaves. In the end, I’ll still be standing. Still strong. Everything is going to be all right.
“I understand now that the vulnerability I’ve always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can’t experience life without feeling life. What I’ve learned is that being vulnerable to somebody you love is not a weakness, it’s a strength.” — Elisabeth Shue
Oh sweet Dominee, so much of your resilient spirit comes through in this post. Through the tenderness of your vulnerability, shines your solid, loving core. So brave she is.
Yeeeessssss. I feel all of this right now. I'm raw and cracked open, vulnerable and tumultuous. It's driving me nuts with all its pain, but at the same time, I'm choosing to look at it as a crucible – I'm becoming stronger for being weak, growing through being destroyed.
But just because I understand it doesn't mean I have to like it. :3
Wow… I love this post. I will be re-reading this many times!
Ahhhh . . . interesting that I have just read two other blogs with similar tones (as I interpret them) tho different subjects! And, of course, it is a mirror reflection of some new awarenesses and awakenings within me . . . which my guides shared with me just this morning!
And part of their message to me was that as we are stirring things up in our physical beings, stepping out in bigger ways (aka allowing ourselves to be vulnerable), we are sending out enormous energetic vibrations to our NON-physical aspects, which in turn are calibrated at a new frequency and REturned to us in increasingly expansive physical experiences.
However, because of the enormity of the vibrations and the differences in being physical vs non physical, there are periods of time — sometimes moments, sometimes days, sometimes longer — where "stuff" comes up, "s _ _ t" happens — as our energetic bodies re-calibrate back into our physical beings!
So — in short — the good news is — YOU ARE SOOO AWESOME and awakening to even more AWESOMENESS!!! YAY YOU!!!!
Namaste!
Wow, Dominee! I am so right here with you– every day I'm pushing myself to put more of my true self out there in the world and damn it is NOT EASY. I tell myself that it's worth the risk, worth the feeling of exposure… it's worth it because it feels like growing, and it's giving me a chance to connect with WAY more wondrous people than I was previously getting to know. For all these reasons I keep doing it… but man oh man, it does take courage. I hope you keep stretching– it was a pleasure to read this post from you and I look forward to many more. ;)
"You can't experience life without feeling life"
I loved what you wrote, reveal much left of you and your feelings, beautiful!
kisses from Brazil!
The heart awakens. Brave indeed for sharing yourself like this and proving that vulnerability is a strength. xx
Vulnerability leads to strength. It is strength. It does not equal weakness, it does not mean that we aren't strong. We are made to feel, we are made to be broken every once and awhile.
You are so right! It takes incredible strength and grace to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Thank you for opening your heart here so that we all may learn from you.
The Meadow: Vulnerability is one of my Earth Magic cards that I pulled for the year 2011. It's a powerful card.
The book says: You are in a place now where you can take risks with your feelings, and even more important, take risks with the truth of who you are — the truth you know in your heart and soul. You no longer need to be subjected to your conditioned fears of letting others know who you really are.
I *see* you dear Sister!
This is such a.. block for me. I grew up in a space where any emotion was seen as weakness. Yet, you're right. Vulnerability allows us to communicate with ourselves, and others. This week I've also been feeling very vulnerable, so this was a well-timed read.
Thank you for sharing this.
Rose
I see your beautiful strength in your vulnerability.
Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing. Right there with you! <3
I love your post….I came by way of the Goddess Blog Syndication Tribe! It really echoes a recent conversation I had with one of my best friends!
Hello beautiful one, this is a lovely sharing. Strong, clear and open. Thank you!
Hello Dominee!
As a fellow Goddess I was so happy to discover your work and blog…and this post is beautiful!
Strong, clear and open. Thank you!Love and blessings to you and your work!
-Meredith
Beautiful post, Dominee! Like you, I have always been on the vulnerable/sensitive side of things and have not always found it easy. In fact, I spent a long time trying to become "harder" and less vulnerable, as it seemed that was the more normal way to be. I'm slowly learning to embrace my vulnerability and the unique way I experience the world. Good luck to you and thank you for sharing such a beautiful message!
Yay! Welcome!
Thank you and welcome to the blog!
Thank you Meredith, and a very big welcome!
Thank you for sharing Lindsay. So many times I have tried to become hard and cold to protect myself but then I realized that very little is learned or experienced that way.
This really resonates and having the awareness that the releasing and processing heals, powerfully sitting as you say with what we feel rather than ignoring them itself is growth and of course nothing is as cleansing and healing as tears. A true sign of stepping into a new way of being, gathering all the inner resources needed for the next path of our amazing journey with renewed strength and wisdom .
Thank you Mary, I'm glad that it resonated.
Such an powerful post Dominee. Thank you for writing such a heartfelt post. It spoke to my heart in such a beautiful song.
Bless you Dominee X
You show such strength and bravery by opening up and letting others know how you're feeling. How reassuring it is to know that we're not alone when we feel this way. Thank you Dominee, for showing us your vulnerable side. Everything you've said about strength and not being afraid to talk about love or hide who you really are is so very, very true.
I love your blog Dominee! And yes, it takes courage to be vulnerable… an oxymoron of sorts, if the old definition is adhered to… Keep on shining, joyful blessings, Tina
You need to be so vulnerable to write this with such heart. Thank you for writing it and sharing it with the world. I feel that it helps many. I resonated with it because I also fight my vulnerability a lot of the time, instead of embracing it as a strength. :)
I remember watching a TED talk about the power of vulnerability and your post reminds me of that, there's a lot of courage in daring to be vulnerable.
This is beautiful. There are so many misconceptions about power, pain, vulnerability and weaknesses. The only weaknesses in my point of view is those which shut off your awareness – judgement, conclusion, answers. Opening up and allowing yourself to feel and be intense – which is all pain is anyway, a perceived intensity. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable or the open wound is to allow intensity to pass through you without resistance. Its quite beautiful really. Thank you for this post.
Very beautiful and honest. It speaks directly to me as I often walk the edge of vulnerability. At 45 years of age I finally own this and embrace it instead of seeing it as a weakness. To me, life is about connection and living deeply and widely and vulnerability is one of the ways I open up to this richness. Thanks and blessings, Tina xxx
Beautiful post Dominee! Thank you for sharing! I totally resonate with you. I love this part… "Vulnerability leads to strength. It is strength. It does not equal weakness. It does not mean that we aren't strong."
SO TRUE!
Keep Shining!
Julie :-)
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I have an affirmation is use which centres me and reminds me of the benefits "Vulnerability is the state of unconditional love". I too actually wrote a post about it http://www.justloveyourself.com/vulnerability-is-the-state-of-unconditional-love/
What a beautiful tribute to vulnerability. Thank you for the courage you showed by pulling back the curtain on your life and letting us peek behind–