It’s no secret that I struggle with anxiety and depression. The depression has been a seldom-seen house guest in the last few years. Anxiety stops by more occasionally. We have tea together and then I try to smash plates over her head until she leaves me alone.
Lately, I’ve been feeling anxious.
My day job has been stressing me out. Most of the time I really like it. I work in a store, stocking different products. It’s mundane, it can be boring, but at the end of the day I feel good about how hard I work and I love my coworkers.
The last few months have brought lots of management changes and I am not enjoying it. I feel like I’m being walked on and taken advantage of. Both of the new managers have been managers that I’ve had before, years ago, and I have truly enjoyed them as people. This time around things have not been going very well.
I realize that I have changed over the years, my priorities have shifted, I’ve created boundaries. I no longer feel okay being taken advantage of and being asked to do much more than my fair share and those boundaries are being tested.
It has caused me a lot of anxiety but I’ve been taking the time to deal with it.
The first thing that I’ve been doing is trying to stay connected to the moment. Most of the time the moment isn’t bad even if the big picture isn’t all that pretty.
Putting my hand over my heart and taking deep breaths. I love laying still and feeling my heart beat. When I’m having a tense moment of anxiety I place my hand over my heart and then lightly tap my fingers on my chest. Doing that brings me back to the moment.
I keep my prayer beads, my japa mala, in my pocket. Sometimes just reaching into my pocket and feeling the beads helps, other times taking out the beads and doing a quick repetition soothes my soul in amazing ways.
I listen to music that makes my soul happy. I have been listening to a lot of Nirinjan Kaur Khalsa, that woman’s voice does happy things to my insides.
I look at all of the things that are going right in my life. All of the beautiful gifts that I have been given, the friends that I have been blessed with, the deep wisdom that I have developed about myself and my needs.
I refuse to give in to the anxiety. It might not go away when I want it to, but I don’t give up on trying.
I'm wishing you the best during this time of management changes (and the changes within yourself). For work situations I like to a small carry small stone or two in my apron, particularly amethyst for its calming and healing energy.
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and completely know this feeling. Sometimes when I'm at work, I've gone to the bathroom to just cry. The thing about a bathroom is, no one can REALLY bother you in there. If you're in the stall, you can cry, say a prayer, do whatever you need to. I usually try to wear one of my favorite necklaces that symbolizes the Nile goddess under my work shirt and I rub it under my fingers from time to time to remember the goddess inside me stronger than any obstacle.
Sometimes I wonder if it is in the air, because lately I have definitely been having some anxiety issues myself.
I second what Winter says… amethyst. It is my power stone and I have them all over the place. I like to keep a smooth one on me, a worry stone of sorts. I visualize my moments of anxiety wearing into it with my fingers as I rub it. It isn't so much to release it, yet, but to store it until I have time to pay attention to what is being said to me. Then I release it and the anxiety. I have learned the hard way that I can't just ignore it and bottle it away. I have to feel it and understand it before I can let it go. Otherwise it just eats at me and eats at me. Much love to you!
You are courageous! The tool I use is orienting. I let my eyes go where they want, to see what they want to see. As I Iook at the red vase, the blue ball, the shape of the guitar, my vision widens and I take a breath. It's nice to engage with my environment and let my body know there is no threat. All is well. ps love your blog!
Hi
I have suffered anxiety and panic attacks for 2 years , I have been using a product called Wellcell , it is a little device that u carry around with you for 24/7 it is light therapy and different spectrums of light shine from it . I have been using it for a month and its changed my life , within a week i felt better more relaxed , sleeping better , and more positive and easy to cope with people and situations . If u look up Wellcell on facebook it will tell u all about it . It costs 50 pounds that includes the device and 3 months therapy included , its as little as a pound a day so its so worth it . It as changed my life for the better !!
Let me know if u wish to get one … My email address is ebonyjayne@live.co.uk
I am sensitive so been around people can often drain and exhaust me but i have found i am more tolerable and open to people thanks to wellcell . xx
I have suffered from anxiety my whole life and have studied many therapies to find a solution.
I regularly eat kefir ( fermented raw milk) and have found that I suffer from anxiety less since I have been eating it. I read study that says having good probiotic levels lessens anxiety so check your diet.
EFT ( tapping) is also a useful technique to lessen anxiety in any situation. tap on the outside edge of your hand at the base of your pinkie ( either hand ) and say "Even though this situation is really stressing me at the moment I deeply and completely love and accept myself and I forgive myself for feeling this way.
These seem to be all normal feelings. I have felt the same way about a few of my jobs, but that is kind of what comes with the responsibility. However, this does not mean that this is healthy. An anxiety attack can do a lot to a persons life. Take it from me, I have always felt the strain and have had personal experience with what it can do to a person's life. You will overcome this, it just takes time.