Last month, I had to think a lot about my Inner Critic and how we’ve come a long way together. It’s now a story of healing more than anything. The Inner Critic is like that friend that is negative all of the time and never has a good thing to say about anything and while it’s annoying at best and crippling at worst – there’s a reason for it. Damage. Hurt. Fear. That voice is a misguided protector and an ill-advised guide. I believe the inner critic means well.
Want to know the best way to combat that voice in your head?
Know better.
Know that the inner critic speaks from a place of fear and anxiety, not one of truth. When you are making art and that little voice in your head tells you that it’s rubbish – where is that voice coming from? It’s coming from the fear that what you are creating is not good enough and everyone will look at it and know how much you can not art.
When you hear those words about how unworthy you are for whatever it is that you want – love, the perfect job, relationships or friendships – that all comes from a place of fear that you don’t deserve those things. Stopping that voice starts by not believing it to begin with.
I used to buy into all sorts of things about myself. That little voice said that no one would ever really love me or commit to me so I went for relationships with people that were emotionally unavailable. It told me that I wasn’t good at writing so I didn’t write or I’d refuse to show anyone. The Inner Critic is the microphone that gives voice to your own insecurities.
Turn down the volume by believing that you are enough and that you are good enough.
Once you start caring about yourself, loving yourself, and being good to yourself that voice is like a gnat that’s easily swatted aside. You no longer bow at the altar of verbal abuse, disdain, and mockery.
Self Love silences the voice.
You deserve to have love and compassion between your ears. You deserve to co-exist with that voice inside of your head. Don’t give up fighting for a healthy relationship with your inner critic. When you find yourself thinking or saying something negative about yourself – stop the voice. Cut it off, take away the microphone, yank on the powercord, and fill the dead air with something positive. Say something nice.
And say it again.
And again.
You’re unraveling 20 years or 30 years or 40 years of work. It doesn’t happen in a day, or a week, or a month – it takes persistance and you’ve got it in you. So do the work. Stop the negative voice in your head.
Your Assignment: Write a letter to your inner critic. What things do you want to stop hearing in your head?
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