I’m weird and let me tell you, it caused a lot of issues for me when I was growing up. Combined with intense shyness and introversion, it was difficult for me to make friends. I spent my teens wishing that I could be “normal” but normal things didn’t interest me. My teens consisted of devouring book after book, writing Harry Potter fanfiction, and being lost in my imagination. Most kids don’t want to have discussions about those things.
I felt too weird to have boys interested in me. Too weird to have real friends. That mindset that I was other – weird – odd – dysfunctional – made it really hard to love myself. It made it hard to believe that I would ever be worthy of anything good. I fell into shitty relationships with anyone who would have me and that enhanced my feeling of being too weird to be lovable.
I’m starting to learn to love me, for me.
I beginning to see that my weirdness has added so much color to my life. It makes me a better person and I think it makes me an extraordinary writer and empath. Which brings us to the cards I’m sharing today.
I have lots of cards. Tarot cards, oracle cards, goddess cards, and wisdom cards. Sometimes I feel drawn to take them out and do readings, or just flip through them, soothed by the artwork or the messages inside of them. This morning I got home from work and felt drawn to look through my Wisdom Cards created by Louise L. Hay.
First off, I must say that reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay, changed my life. It is such a deep, deep book. It was hard for me to read more than a few pages at a time because everything resonated so deeply with me. The thing I learned most from the book was how to forgive. Really, deeply, truly, forgive. When I saw these cards I had to buy them. I believe I’ve looked at them twice and I don’t know why I have an aversion to them.
I thought I might be more comfortable with them if I was able to write down my thoughts and feelings about them. Today’s card is “Everyone is unique and different. If we are like other people then we are not expressing our own specialness.” and on the other side
“I am my own unique self.”
I think I have accepted that emotionally and mentally, I am a pretty unique person. I’m embracing my quirks and the odd things about me and I know that I wouldn’t want to be anyone else other than I am.
It’s okay that I’m introverted and I like to read and that most of the music I listen to is in other languages. I like to spend time inside of my head and I like to talk about deep subjects. I don’t like to drink or go out and I don’t like to be around crowds. That’s not who I am. I fall more in love with this human that I’m turning into.
So if you feel weird, I want to remind you – it gets better. You can fall in love with yourself. Be weird! Celebrate it!