Invisible High Functioning Anxiety
Hello there you lovely arrangement of atoms. The other day – I sent out this newsletter about high functioning anxiety and it really resonated so I wanted to share it here too. I send out newsletters every Monday morning on different topics – you can sign up if you’re interested. This past week, I’ve been in a constant state of stress and anxiety. My brother (who is autistic, and who I have guardianship of) needed some dental work. And he handled it SO well. Like 10/10. Proud sister moment.
Me on the other hand? Absolute mess. It was a toss up at any given moment on whether I was going to anxiety-projectile-vomit. Scheduling the appointments, worrying about every possible complication, worrying about how he’d do, worrying if I was making good choices or bad choices.
And looking at me from the outside, nobody would have known. (Now you know – welcome to the secret.)
And that is high-functioning anxiety in its natural habitat. The world sees you handling it. Internally your brain is melting into panicked goo. Both are happening at the same time. And it’s easy not to talk about it if no one notices, but when we *don’t* talk about it – we end up feeling like we’re the only ones doing it. Like everyone else really IS as okay as they look, and we’re just secretly falling apart. But spoiler alert: SO many of us are running this same internal program and you are very much NOT alone.
A little shout-out to anyone else doing hard things this week – I see you.
Self-Care This Week for High Functioning Anxiety
Here are some little ways that might help you check in with yourself if you’re struggling with anxiety this week:
Try the Thoughts Parking Lot: If you’re not on Patreon for the worksheet, create your own! Take all of your thoughts and sort them into categories (Ready for Action, Needs to Be Felt, Out of My Control, A Passing Thought, etc.)
Drop the Everything-is-FINE Mask: Even if it’s just to yourself or your journal. Tell the truth about how you’re actually doing this week. Not the “I’m fine” version. The real one. Most people can’t tell you’re anxious when it’s high functioning anxiety – that’s the whole point – you *look* like you’re functioning!
Try to “do less”: Pick one thing this week that you would normally overprepare for, double-check, or do “extra” on. Do it at 80% instead or ask if someone *else* can do it. Put less on your plate.
Schedule rest like it’s super necessary: Anxious brains usually only rest when there’s literally no other option. Try putting rest on the calendar, in writing, with a specific time. Then honor it.
Name what it’s costing you: Take five minutes to write down HOW high functioning anxiety is affecting you right now. It’s easy to say ‘it’s fine’, it’s easy to ignore and power through, it’s easy to say ‘this is just how it is’, but really have a check in with yourself.
What’s one thing you can do today to check-in with, or lessen, how anxious you feel?
The Thoughts Parking worksheet is here!
Dump all your swirling thoughts into one place by sorting them into categories so they stop running on a loop in your head. It’s available to ALL paying Patreon tiers, starting at just $2/month
